Page 4 of 52 FirstFirst 1234567814 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 80 of 1025

Thread: Haiku

  1. #61
    Guest
    Guest

    Ola? I'm not Sami

    FYI yes, I did. And I'm not joking.

  2. #62
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts

    You're definitely not Sami. But you can be an Ola. OI just sounds rude. Like "OI you there!"

    But thank you for the vote of confidence. Makes me feel slightly better for being a tad daft and not being able to spell and all.

  3. #63
    Guest
    Guest

    I hope you noticed that my tongue was firmly on my cheek in my previous comment and that you have many a time surprised me with your wit and intelligence at such a young age. When I was your age, all I could have contributed with was more or less "Repent, or you will go to hell"

  4. #64
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts

    I dont mind at all! I was only teasing hmm 2 - 3 - 1 was it?


    How daft!
    They all said
    Again

  5. #65
    Guest
    Guest


  6. #66
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    Thank you, Viv, for getting the conversation back to haiku!

  7. #67
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    Elephant
    Lumbering by slowly
    Remembers


    Comments, criticism, anyone? I opened this thread, yet I am the one who needs the most practice and work on haiku. This one does not have the traditional seasonal element, of course.

    Can OI or someone else share what syllabic combinations are and are not allowable in modern English haiku? I understand that the first line "introduces" and is shorter; the middle line is the longest; the final line drives home a point and is somewhat balanced with line one.

    Are there any combinations that are "too small" or too awkward for haiku? I know OI mentioned symmetry. That is something that bothered me in my original (now revised) Winter haiku; the first line was longer, and it didn't look right, but I didn't know why until that explanation.
    Last edited by Frankie Jasmine; 12-12-2012 at 10:29 AM.

  8. #68
    Guest
    Guest


    Heating up your heart
    cosmic rays of gratitude
    guided by my hand

  9. #69
    Guest
    Guest

    Frankie,

    I think that it's generally a good idea to practice with 11 to 17 syllable traditional haikus, 5-7-5 and 3-5-3 being good examples, until one feels comfortable writing haiku. From there, one can explore different combinations, such as the American haiku with inverted lines, 5-3-5 or even 7-5-7. Just keep in mind that haiku is your camera with which you are capturing frozen moments of time, whether in nature (haiku) or in heart (senryu) or a combination of the two. Quite like taking pictures, frame it first in your mind and then in your "camera".

    "Strict" English haiku has symmetrical lines (1st and 3rd of the same length and shorter than 2nd) and adheres to a nature theme (haiku) or to a human theme (senryu), but what is "allowed" and isn't depends on how strictly traditional one wants to be.

    On another poetry site I'm a member of, we have this loooong haiku/senryu thread where the next poster uses the previous post's last line as his/her first line, and so you keep going. So the next poster would use

    guided by my hand

    as his/her first line and so on. Can be a lot of fun!

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Guest For This Useful Post:
    amaryn (12-16-2012),Frankie Jasmine (12-14-2012)

  11. #70
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts

    Gosh that sounds hard


    Guided by my hand
    You face the world cheerfully
    Never stop smiling

  12. #71
    Guest
    Guest


    Never stop smiling
    not even way past bedtime
    smile a zombie smile

  13. #72
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts


    Smile a zombie smile
    Regardless of how you feel
    Always keep the smile


  14. #73
    Guest
    Guest

    Always keep the smile
    even if it's raining gods
    back in Ankh-Morpork

  15. #74
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts



    Back in Ankh-Morpork
    The sun rises from the west
    Pelting them with snow

  16. #75
    Guest
    Guest


    Pelting them with snow
    Sirius, the mighty one
    ponders cosmic doom

  17. #76
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    Quote Originally Posted by amaryn View Post
    door wide open
    your hand seeks out my hand
    total trust



    is this correct?
    Quote Originally Posted by OrchestraInside View Post

    Heating up your heart
    cosmic rays of gratitude
    guided by my hand

    Dear amaryn,

    I aver to OrchestraInside's greater knowledge and talent with haiku/senryu. Noticing OI's senryu, this "tells" me that your senryu (top) is fine!


    The reason I say this: You refer to "total trust." OI refers to "gratitude." These are states of human reaction to another's action (both positive, in this case). I trust in OI's posts of haiku and discussion of haiku. Therefore, please disregard the question I raised about your senryu! Obviously I was wrong. I defer to someone's greater knowledge of the art!!
    Last edited by Frankie Jasmine; 12-15-2012 at 10:00 AM.

  18. #77
    Senior Member Frankie Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 288 Times in 257 Posts

    ponders cosmic doom
    giant puffer mushroom spews
    small world disappears

  19. #78
    Guest
    Guest

    Pronouns can be used, mostly in senryus, but overuse should be avoided. As for states of mind, just try to avoid making a judgement, stay as neutral as you can. Senryus are by their very nature less neutral than haikus.


    Me & Noor went a little overboard above While the syllable count is fine, the content is hardly in haiku/senryu style. Midnight brains


    small world disappears
    white sleep for trees and flowers
    frozen rivers lie

  20. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Guest For This Useful Post:
    amaryn (12-16-2012),Frankie Jasmine (12-15-2012)

  21. #79
    Moderator VivaPalestina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked 2,321 Times in 1,680 Posts

    Quote Originally Posted by OrchestraInside View Post
    Me & Noor went a little overboard above While the syllable count is fine, the content is hardly in haiku/senryu style. Midnight brains
    I was actually thinking that myself...not sure my daytime brain is any better though. Are we focussing on human nature or nature or a mixture?


    Frozen rivers lie
    Criss-crossing up to your heart
    Pathways of your hate

  22. #80
    Guest
    Guest

    Ideally only one or the other in one poem, which is better for practice. However hybrid poems exist and are not "outlawed"... I do think that for training purposes, it is better not to mix the two until one has mastered both (whatever that means ). Obviously if the last line of the previous poem is about human nature, then the next poem has to be a hybrid in order to allow the one after that to be a haiku (nature poem).

    Pathways of your hate
    lost in woods of love and peace
    waves embrace the shore

  23. The Following User Says Thank You to Guest For This Useful Post:
    Frankie Jasmine (12-15-2012)

Page 4 of 52 FirstFirst 1234567814 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions