Butterfly Summer

Thread: Butterfly Summer

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  1. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Hottest Thread in Poetry!Wow,good work!
     
  2. Teshka's Avatar

    Teshka said:

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    omg lol......i don't even know what to say now except thank you again!
    But ofc the biggest thanks go to my Moonster <33 for posting this bcs i don't think i ever would have....
    Music is what feelings sound like
    Listen to the Love
    ~♥♥~
     
  3. mexico62 said:

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    Thanks MoonRide*r* for the links, beautiful song, and hope that your love and Teshka´s last forever, congratulations, you are a perfect couple. God bless you
     
  4. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Thanks mexico62. I just wish everybody could be so blessed
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  5. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by mexico62 View Post
    Hi MoonRide*r*, Of course this is one of my favorites poems, the classical one, using the metrics, rhymes, rhythm, and of course the words are wisely used, every single line couldn´t be changed to be better, as it is, is perfect.
    The main theme, the everlasting love is so touching in the heart. I fear to try to guess who wrote this jewel, so I rather say Thanks to you and Tesha for sharing it with us, it´s a delight to read it over and over.

    Mexico62!! That's exactly what I am doing,lol: reading it over and over. Because once is not enough
    (referring to "Butterfly Summer")


    PS: if you like butterflies: plant a buddhelia in your garden- if you have one that is: this plant attracts them
     
  6. Teshka's Avatar

    Teshka said:

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    Thank you amaryn for the "bump" (lol) and i just mean the reminder, bcs have you ever done something and then didn't even recognize yourself when you look back on it? Ofc i do know exactly why and when i wrote this, but writing poetry is so new for me that it seems foreign, and even beyond me. But this is still my favorite of all that i've tried to write and so thank you again for bringing this back into my mind
    Music is what feelings sound like
    Listen to the Love
    ~♥♥~
     
  7. VivaPalestina's Avatar

    VivaPalestina said:

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    I love this.

    The thing with poetry is, what works for one may not work for another, and what is perfect harmony for one may not be the case for another. Also, artistic license is pretty much always employed not to mention different interpretations depending on the individual.

    I'm a terrible poet - so likewise it makes me a terrible critic (terrible as in mean not awful), however, I only ever critique what I think is good quality, so if I have something to complain about it means it was pretty damn good to start with.

    That's an indirect apology to the complaint I'm about to lodge now

    Quote Originally Posted by MoonRide*r* Posting for A (Secret) Friend View Post

    Head spinning, cold heart sinking,
    tripping on shadows among the unliving,
    The pause between head spinning, cold heart sinking makes me feel like there is a slight break in the rhythm, it's perfect but seeing as you're working on rhyme and the the following line in the stanza has more meters, i've broken up in colours, the second line not only has more stressed (/ - or in this case coloured) syllables, but also two additional unstressed (x - uncoloured) syllables.

    I'm being extra, but the poem in its entirety flows to me, just still trying to get my head around the first stanza as its not a repeated pattern, you only do it in the first line, so it draws attention to it, I'm not sure if that was your aim? Or it just happened?

    Quote Originally Posted by MoonRide*r* Posting for A (Secret) Friend View Post
    cursing the fear of what I could not hear,
    the sound of you, so distant...so near
    Perfect...I love this...its such a perfect octometer, and the natural break makes the reader more empathic

    Quote Originally Posted by MoonRide*r* Posting for A (Secret) Friend View Post

    Rise up or die on shattered dreams,
    I love the imagery behind this

    Btw M I dont believe you. This is too good for a beginner
    Out of curiosity, would you say the poem came naturally to you, or that you forced it with hard work Tess?
     
  8. Teshka's Avatar

    Teshka said:

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    Thank you Viva for taking the time to read and comment and i hope to enjoy as well yea the first line is a lil jerky but when i first wrote it that was what i wanted......but now seeing that i was and am still learning.....

    this did come easily after i got a good start.....bcs if that does not happen then i cant finish it and there is one that i started 2 weeks ago but i just can't get past verse 3......so idk if i will ever finish it

    But tysm for the critique and everything, and no one has to be a poet or songwriter to just know what they like or may call great or not
    Music is what feelings sound like
    Listen to the Love
    ~♥♥~
     
  9. VivaPalestina's Avatar

    VivaPalestina said:

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    I'll quote myself just now to M (because I'm that awesome I'm actually quotable)

    "The best thing about poetry, is that it's a little part of you. Nobody can say its wrong. It's just you." - VivaPalestina

    "...telling everyone who doesnt like your writings, 'I'm doing it for me not for you'" - also the famous VivaPalestina

    Dont give up on the one you started, some times, when you force yourself to write, even though you feel completely uninspired when writing it, i've realised people tend to love it thats why I asked, some things flow, some things feel forced, and sometimes the forced things that you feel are totally fake, come out sounding even better.
     
  10. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by VivaPalestina View Post
    I'll quote myself just now to M
    I'm still working on my first cup of coffee, so it took me several long minutes to digest that one single simple thought. But I'm ok now.
    (Hint: Small words and very simple sentences would be very helpful and welcome for the next hour or so )

    Quoting an unnamed source:

    "The best thing about poetry, is that it's a little part of you. Nobody can say its wrong. It's just you."
    "...telling everyone who doesnt like your writings, 'I'm doing it for me not for you'"
    Absolutely!
    Btw, Viva, did anyone ever tell you that you're very quotable at times? Just saying, just in case you didn't realize that.

    ^-^

    Quote Originally Posted by VivaPalestina View Post
    Dont give up on the one you started, some times, when you force yourself to write, even though you feel completely uninspired when writing it, i've realised people tend to love it thats why I asked, some things flow, some things feel forced, and sometimes the forced things that you feel are totally fake, come out sounding even better.
    Just thought that was worth saying again
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  11. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    [QUOTE=Teshka;961977]@Doug, well one other thing is that he's got a really nice car with a rocker-monster sound system!

    How's the car holding up?What's he's listening to on monster sound system?
     
  12. Teshka's Avatar

    Teshka said:

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    lol it's doing fine and the last i heard it playing was some bad-*** techno
    Music is what feelings sound like
    Listen to the Love
    ~♥♥~
     
  13. VivaPalestina's Avatar

    VivaPalestina said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by MoonRide*r* View Post
    Btw, Viva, did anyone ever tell you that you're very quotable at times? Just saying, just in case you didn't realize that.
    Funny, I seem to remember hearing this before...I wonder where.

    As much as I love attention, this thread is too beautiful to clutter up with Viva's eternal wisdom and quotability