The Lie

Ok guys, first song i've ever written, fronting a 4 piece rock band, moving away from cover versions at the minute so getting pen to paper at the minute and this is my first attempt. I know it's obvious but it was just a tester to see how my lyrics are, going to move much more political as soon as we get a few catchy tunes.

Lyrics below;

(VERSE 1)
With a blast, of emotion,
Her kiss is, a love potion,
When the night falls,
And the lights out,

She’s the one I dream about,

(VERSE 2)
All at once, i’m on fire,
Her love is, my desire,
I go round,
I find that she’s out,

That girl I can’t live without,

(CHORUS)
I regret, treating you so wrong,
I forget, when nights were last this long,
Come and find me, wherever you may be,
It hate that you’re leaving me.

Said i’m sorry, I never meant to stray,
Text me once, to say it’s all ok,
I can’t bare, for this to carry on,
You know you’re my only one.

(Verse 3)
There’s a space, she left behind her,
Every love song, is a reminder,
Of how my life was,
Before I cheated,

Girl I know you feel mistreated,

(CHORUS)

(VERSE 4)
I’m gunna make it up to you,
Whatever it takes we’ll make it through,
You’re the one I dream about,
The girl I can’t live without,

(CHORUS)

It's okay, but stick to rock, don't do political rock. Tried it in the eighties, and it went as flat as the proverbial pancake.

Originally Posted by Mixalopoulos

It's okay, but stick to rock, don't do political rock. Tried it in the eighties, and it went as flat as the proverbial pancake.

Always a risk, I just think the time may be right, not in depth political rants but, subtle snipes. Enter Shikari's last album was fantastic and very political.

I think it Rocks!Great first song,if this is your first,I can't wait for the 30th.Only thing I can suggest is to lose the word "is".The line,"her kiss,a love potion"reads better to me."Her love,my desire"is also something you may want to consider.The"is"is an extra beat that detracts to the verse.Either way,great start!

Yeah man this will play. It's obviously a workable song lyric and a very good one.

I'm gonna agree with Mr. Mixalopoulos, politix sux unless/until (maybe) you get a really big name in music. But even then, I think it's best to not so much attack anyone outright (that can even be very bad for bizness) but rather shoot for a crusade on behalf of something specific. One of my all-time favorites is Santana's Soweto, 20+ years old, defo a major chapter in my musical history book..... http://www.metrolyrics.com/free-all-...s-santana.html