Hollywood ending.

Hi all.
I just discovered this forum when looking for a place where I could post my lyrics and get some honest feedback.
These particular lyrics are about when I told my best friend that I had feelings for her and how I felt when she didn't feel the same. She basically told me it would never be the two of us. I am/was her best friend and she wanted us to be friends forever.
Writing lyrics when I'm feeling down, seems to have a therapeutic effect for me in some strange ways.
So here it goes:

HOLLYWOOD ENDING

World is falling apart
Wrong choices made
Decisions of the heart

Life won’t let us choose
So special, so right
‘Forever’ is mine to lose

CHORUS
No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

Laid it all on the line
Words like daggers
Made me close my eyes

CHORUS
No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

So close yet far away
Too many flaws
There won’t be another day

CHORUS
No hero, no happy ending
No riding into the sunset, no glory pending
No use hoping for a Hollywood ending

No fireworks, darkness descending
Fade to black, no use pretending
For you and me, there is no Hollywood ending

Dude, It's pretty good man. I can easily see these lyrics being delivered very well.

On another song I posted a word I'd not used before: Current. For the second time in a row, I'm going to say that I hear your lyrics as current. I love your introduction to the song. I like that you have a three-lined scheme--rather different. The Chorus is a REAL hook!!! That is a killer chorus in my opinion. Best to you.

i agree with her about the three line thing, and i really enjoyed your song. i was able to feel some of the feelings behind it.

I like these Song Lyrics.But........I've got to tell you,if you cut the second Chorus,it would (in my humble opinion)be perfect!These are great rhymes,it has a great "feel"to it,everything a successful song should be.Congratulations!

I appreciate your replies and I find it both nice and inspirational that you like the lyrics.

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

I like these Song Lyrics.But........I've got to tell you,if you cut the second Chorus,it would (in my humble opinion)be perfect!These are great rhymes,it has a great "feel"to it,everything a successful song should be.Congratulations!

I like your song just as much as when I read it before. I am in agreement with Doug, now that I've gone over the lyrics several times, the second chorus being left out might be better. Did I mention that I like the last stanza--somewhat similar to the chorus, but with enough change to drive the point home?! Well, I do!

This is dripping with "song" man. And writing is defo food for the soul.

Don't be a stranger, coz if you've got one this good I know there's more.

You tell em,Moon!This looks like a new "heavy hitter"here at ATL!Can't wait to see what's next!P.S.
Yes,this is an Amazing Start!!!

This got a lot of attention, deservedly. I too agree with Doug about the second chorus. Other than that, it's great.

The lyrics are actually a song now. I gave them to the guitarist in my band and asked him to make something out of it. It's not a ballad and to be honest, I didn't want it to be.
Since I don't write music myself, it's sorta like a big deal for me to hear my words in a song. Hopefully we'll play it on our next gig.

Hey.

The song is finished and published now. It's a wonderful feeling to hear my lyrics as a song.
Have a listen if you please. :-)
http://soundcloud.com/escapepodtheba...edium=facebook

TUUUUNE! Man this is GREAT!

Originally Posted by ReturnOfTheAmazingStart

It's a wonderful feeling to hear my lyrics as a song.

I can only imagine. All you gotta do now is just sit back and bask in the glory of it all
Congrats on getting published and out there!

Congratulations ReturnOfTheAmazingStart !!!
It's a trully good song.

Originally Posted by MoonRide*r*

TUUUUNE! Man this is GREAT!



I can only imagine. All you gotta do now is just sit back and bask in the glory of it all
Congrats on getting published and out there!

Thank you. I'm very pleased.

Originally Posted by Amethystos

Congratulations ReturnOfTheAmazingStart !!!
It's a trully good song.

Thank you very much.

I 've heard that some people have problems using the Soundcloud link. The song will be available on Spotify very soon though.:-)
Hopefully I can get some of my other lyrics made into songs as well. I hope the same for all of you.

Just an update.
Hollywood Ending is now on iTunes and Spotify.
Have a listen. :-)