Without You

Hello, sorry I've been away so long! I just thought I'd quickly pop in and share with you something I'd wrote today. I'll post the YouTube link once i upload it - but don't judge me! :P

Without You - Copyright © RobberBaron Enterprises 2012

[Verse]

I've been waiting for a long time to say this,
Now I finally see you were wrong,
Cos for too long I've been running on empty,
Not knowing what I was running from

[Chorus]

Cos without you, I could've had everything,
I would've been unstoppable, if only I'd the guts to
Doubt you, you never really were who you seemed,
You just turned me into some kind of freak,
And I loved you, even though you tore up my heart,
I kept circling back, right to the start
So no thank you, I'm fine,
No more lies, cos I'm through,
And for once I'm glad that I am,
Without you

[Verse]

How could you know we're not talking,
When you never talked much before,
There's nothing I can say when all I want,
Is you to notice you're being ignored

[Chorus]

Cos without you, I could've had everything,
I would've been unstoppable, if only I'd the guts to
Doubt you, you never really were who you seemed,
You just turned me into some kind of freak,
And I loved you, even though you tore up my heart,
I kept circling back, right to the start
So no thank you, I'm fine,
No more lies, cos I'm through,
And for once I'm glad that I am,
Without you

[Bridge]

Too long I followed,
Too many times,
Two of us trusted,
One of us lied

And I say it's your loss,
So that's gotta be true?
But now it feels worse

[Chorus]

Cos without you, I could've had everything,
I would've been unstoppable, if only I'd the guts to
Doubt you, you never really were who you seemed,
You just turned me into some kind of freak,
And I loved you, even though you tore up my heart,
I kept circling back, right to the start
So no thank you, I'm fine,
No more lies, cos I'm through,
And for once I'm glad that I am,
Without you

So no thank you, I'm fine,
No more lies, cos I'm through,
And for once I'm glad that I am,
Without you

The end of the chorus was very unexpected. I like the fact that the two verses are two and a half times shorten than the chorus. (They say) an up to 8 lines chorus is normally the best option but it depends.

Can't wait to hear this one on You Tube, my friend!!!

It's already on YouTube It's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqTTbGByVtc

RobberB: Very good. Since most of the verses were within a certain key-range to represent the "circling around" (with this person), I like that the instrumentals are extra good and interesting musically (as a matter of fact--great!). Some of your songs have more vocal range than WITHOUT YOU--yet, indeed, you did put a "hook" [Bridge] with variety at just the right time. Good job!

RB,I just left you a Comment on YouTube.Needless to say,I love this song.Not only does your "vocal style"fit this exactly,but it seems to be getting stronger,now that you know it's not as bad as you depicted it!You know,I'd love for you to cover Honesty,it would fit your vocal style as well,and just you and a piano would be enough!I mentioned how the refrain is to be sung,but you could put your own "vibe"in it.If you'd like to try it,I'd be honored to have you do it!

I agree. That was the first thing I noticed when listening to WITHOUT YOU--a confidence in your voice. I thought, "Yipeeee!" because you deserve to show that confidence! You are a great song/music writer, and I'm a fan!

I didn't realise, thank you I've been meaning to record some more songs, but my throat has been quite bad lately
Also in this one it recorded quite quietly…

Take care of your voice. It may be your future. Please don't smoke--or if you do, try your utmost to stop. You will ruin with poison an instrument which God gave you. OWO!!!

No I will never smoke yuck! :L

Me neither!

Great song. Just checked it out on youtube! Very impressed! Keep it up dude!