WARNING: This song and post reveals ALOT about a personal history so if you're not up for reading a lot, you may want to pass on this one, lol. Just a heads up. This is PROOF that music has saved my life and why music is such an important part of this world.


This is an old song I stumbled upon just now and it really hits home to my heart. It's a song my old band did almost over 2 years ago. I wrote it about my 'childhood' if you can call it that. Despite being placed in RTC's (residential treatment centers) for behavioral problems for bipolar and whatnot (don't worry I'm not ashamed of anything I'm about to say, lol) my parents and uncle were extremely supportive. So I wrote a song expressing my gratitude for all their sacrifices on all those hard, painful nights at the hospitals. They've been through as much emotional pain, if not more than I have. If you have the time to read it I'm going to break down each stanza because it can easily be misconstrued for a negative song.

Sacrifice


Bring me down
Bring me down,
Do you leave me where I fall

Break it down,
Break it, break it,
Break it down for me again

Help me come to life…

Can you, will you, do you dare too
Breathe me in again
I know, that you are scared to
Will you sacrifice

Everything, for me now
Do you, even
Believe in me?

Screaming,
The screams inside
Mean nothing to a twisted soul like mine

Rip open,
Rip open the thoughts
That have defined my life

Breathe in,
Breathe me in and show me,
What it’s like

Darkened,
Darkened inside me,
Swallowing the light

Please help me survive…

Can you, will you, do you dare too
Breathe me in again
I know, that you are scared to
Will you sacrifice

Everything, for me now
Do you, even
Believe in me?

Break me down,
Tear me apart so I can start again
Cut me down, cut me down

Can you take, make or break me
Can you save me now
Find the will to forgive me
Will you break me down?

Cut, create and reshape me
Find me a way out
Burn the past that has scarred me
Or will you bury me now?
Will you bury me now?

--------------------------------------------

The Breakdown of the song and their meanings:

Verse 1-
Bring me down
Bring me down,
Do you leave me where I fall

Break it down,
Break it, break it,
Break it down for me again

Help me come to life…

- This is the part of my life where I used to black out and not remember the happenings that went on. Whether it be a physical outburst or a suicidal tendecy. (I've had alot of horrifying stories about that) This part of the song expresses my cries for help to have someone snap me out of my rage or outburst and bring me back to normal, back to 'life'.

Prechorus + Chorus-
Can you, will you, do you dare too
Breathe me in again
I know, that you are scared to
Will you sacrifice

Everything, for me now
Do you, even
Believe in me?

- This is my plead to my family and best friend of 20+ years to not leave my side and stick through these tough times with me. I needed someone to believe in me when I didn't even know where I was. (When I was off all my meds in Hopkins I can't recall 8 months there. Except the horror stories I've heard.

Verse 2-
Screaming,
The screams inside
Mean nothing to a twisted soul like mine

Rip open,
Rip open the thoughts
That have defined my life

Breathe in,
Breathe me in and show me,
What it’s like

Darkened,
Darkened inside me,
Swallowing the light

Please help me survive…

- Hallucinations and suicidal thoughts and voices in my head always telling me I don't belong here. "Rip Open my thoughts that have defined my life' means that I had to slowly learn to depart myself from these tendacies that supposedly defined who I was and become someone stronger that can control these things.

'Breathe me in and show me what's like' is in thanks to my best friend who was the only one of my friends to visit me and help show me that not everyone has abandoned me. He showed me what it's like to have support. the last couple lines describes the feelings I'd get when I could sense myself about to black out from a severe mood swing.

Last Verse-

Break me down,
Tear me apart so I can start again
Cut me down, cut me down

Can you take, make or break me
Can you save me now
Find the will to forgive me
Will you break me down?

Cut, create and reshape me
Find me a way out
Burn the past that has scarred me
Or will you bury me now?

Will you bury me now?

- This is the final phase in my life as I was finally being put on the right medicine that helps level me out and function as properly in society as I do.
I was taken off all my meds at John Hopkins Hospital and it really let me start over. It broke me first but allowed me to get better in the long run. My favorite lines:

Cut, create and reshape me
Find me a way out
Burn the past that has scarred me
Or will you bury me now?

Is my last recognition of all the trauma and hard work and pain my family and close friends have been through WITH me and together we have burned the pages of my past, learned from them and here I am today. Expressing my pain and experiences through music to people and have done what many people in the hospital have called a "success story". So for that I write this song to express so much gratitude.

I thank you for reading and hope that you take all this openness for what it is and can in the end, focus on the song. I just enjoy sharing with people the TRUE meaning of this song to better understand some of my other 'disturbing' lyrics. For those that made it this far, you ROCK! lol

Here's a link to a live version of this song: http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/artist_videos/942179