Amaryn's poems 2012

amaryn: I will comment later on your two previous poems. But first I must comment on "emotions." In this poem, I definitely hear "a stranger in a strange land." Such as you moving to live in various countries, eventually Finland; safe1 coming to a distant land from Greece; even our move from the U.S. to Bavaria, Germany. Of course the poem means much MORE than that. Those instances are merely the obvious. Then there are the not-so-obvious.

I really like this poem, amaryn. I think it has depth of feeling, putting the reader in the writer's shoes. "Emotions" is a well-done, well-relayed message; one we can all hear and learn from--because we can ask ourselves "have I ever been on that silent, bitter side of the fence?" Of course mainly we choose to identify with the protagonist (you, the poet). Thanks very much for this meaningful, well-executed poem.

Thank you, Frankie, I'll be waiting, because your comments are absolutely always colourful and worthy By the way** DONE

It is funny, that you see "emotions" coming from that little "corner of my mind", however, , thinking about it, you are right, it could be interpreted as such. My reasons are different. I think you "handled" these emotions in one of your own
poems too, with a different title , of course- and in a totally different way too! NOW I REMEMBER:"EMPTY"

Emotions;this is Real Poetry!(Whatever That Means!!!)One comment,while reading this when I first read"noone"I thought you had misspelled "none"or maybe were referring to Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits.When I googled "noone"it came up "no one"and as I write this,it's underlined as in "misspelled".What's the story?Was this a misspelling or some new wave thing I'm unaware of?

@Doug, THANKS for correcting me! I was unaware of the misspelling, I'll TRY to remember in future,lol


IMHO Poetry can't be defined, can it? Isn't that a good thing,lol?

Originally Posted by amaryn

I was unaware of the misspelling,

Not so, ammy . . . I wrote you privately about it twice . . .

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

Not so, ammy . . . I wrote you privately about it twice . . .

Oh dear,oh dear, this I'll blame on insomnia, **

pushing a pram on a dead end lane,
she wants to leave her own world again
two dark swans drifting on a pond
looking ahead at a world beyond

answers unknown and remaining remote
seem to her like an unbearable load
whispering what she needs- one word "relief"
before sinking back into her grief

nightowls conversing what to advice
wing through the forest, then throw a dice
morning has come and the fog has gone
like the lane the girl walked upon

I'll stop coming here. I look like those crazy fans that like it all... but in fact, I do You're awesome!

Amaryyyyn I couldn't read the whole poems but maybe most of them
WELL-DONE !! they are so movin' ... I felt like you are really living those feelings, do you?
btw, one time of my life i guess in high school I experienced writing some sad poems
you know at that time I was still a teenager :P

@Glorious Queen! Thanks for reading my poems. Yes, these feelings come straight from the heart. Therefore they are a mixture of sad and happy
feelings. Living in this kind of world I can't always be smiling, really. But sometimes I DO, like now, seeing you here Kheyli mamnoon, azizam!

TESS: Goodmorning from Northern Europe! Good to see you here too, as I appreciate your own poetry really a lot.
Any comments will be most welcome!

Amaryn;
Thanks for all the feedback you've been giving everyone around here.It's so refreshing to have your work be recognized even if it's just "I like it"!Anybody who writes about night owls is cool with me.I thought you were going to rhyme "dice"with "mice"(a favorite food of owls)Even if these weren't the "night owls"you were speaking of,I couldn't resist saying it nonetheless!

Doug! I'll keep you guessing,lol! Thanks for a good laugh this morning!

you opened the windows of your eyes
and I flew inside one day
there was little room left for mutual lies
isn't that what I heard you say?
you sat beside me, no promises made
proposing two weeks at a time
you said "there's no hurry,
sure we can wait"
you wanted to know who I am

now, many years later, still by my side
walking while autumn leaves fall
you mentioned that both of us did it right
I said there was no doubt at all
as you still don't know me
exploring my eyes
while drinking a glass of red wine
you hear me whisper,
"what do you think?
again- two weeks at a time?"

I've heard the saying"One Day At A Time",but "Two Weeks at A Time"sounds much more hopeful!Now,if my next girl hangs around that long.........I'll consider it successful and think of your Poem!Well done!

Hi amaryn, about "observation", the name of the poem says all about it, day after day, specially in the fast living cities, we have no time to feel, to take a breath, to appreciate the landscapes or clouds, and this is like a oasis of peace, a second trapped in your lines, I´m happy that we´ve met too. Gracias y saludos.

Hi Mexico62! If I remember Mexico City has 22 million inhabitants (is that right?) and the air is as "lovable" as in Bangkok
A local newspaper here has calculated that the average speed of people walking in the streets has increased every ten years;
Also hospitals have noticed that the reason for people for people being hospitalized with broken arms, legs, etc are more and more often the fact they write messages on their mobile phones or play videogames or whatever while walking IOW: they don't look around anymore!


Welcome in a world that's ours,lol!

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

I've heard the saying"One Day At A Time",but "Two Weeks at A Time"sounds much more hopeful!Now,if my next girl hangs around that long.........I'll consider it successful and think of your Poem!Well done!

If that list is long enough we can expect a mouthful of great poetry in that case!

THANKS for the compliment!

. . .

oberservation

I “hear” this in an “Eleanor Rigby” way, but without identifying any people involved until the end--yet still that kind of “observational” (!) way. Defo engaging as a song or a poem. (I remember your disagreeing with my insight on the difference between poetry and lyrics—I am saying this works as either, using my perspective, providing it was lengthened by a chorus!)

......

did you say “love”?

In this poem I visualize a man, rather oblivious of the woman he’s with, other than a mere acknowledgment that she is with him. She follows his suit, noticing the surroundings (“we see”) and also reading the newspaper (“we read”). However, she seems the only one interested in “love.” So for me this is a rather cold and a bit sad poem. Or am I missing something?

......

emotions

Additional comment: I do like this poem a lot! I get it. This is the kind of loneliness I felt in Germany before learning the language well enough to interact. For me the titled “emotion(s)” could only be sadness . . . or perhaps further described as “aloneness” or "loneliness." I also think of the culture in Finland being different than what you experienced prior to that; that people there converse less and are more private. That is what this poem brings to mind. Well worded poem!

. . .

dream

So far, this is my favorite of your poems. It takes more thought than some of the others to understand. I like the way you start on the “lane” and bring it back around again (in the negative) to the “lane.” This poem is tangible to me . . . I see it happening at Mespelbrunn Castle, a family country castle in the Spessart “Mountains” (hills) very near where we lived; it was not bombed in the war because it was nestled in the forest. I see the woman pushing her pram, the black swans circle on the moat . . . I see and feel it all. Thank you. I had to read this one several times; once I did so, that’s when it became my favorite.

I chose a photo which shows the lonesome castle, the moat, and the "dead-end lane" which is about 4 o'clock on the photo, just on the other side of the rock wall topped with hedges on the right side of photo:

......


two weeks at a time

Here I see why you differ with me about how a poem can develop slowly. You immediately ‘flew into the windows of your lover’s eyes.' Beautiful, engaging start for a poem. Then—excuse my “presuming”—that this is how you and your shubby began and continued through so many years. So I say, very good personal (I presume) love poem! And a bit different from how most couples would start things. (I’m not telling my story . . ! )

The part of "two weeks" that is a little unsettling is:

as you still don’t know me
exploring my eyes . . .

Am I reading correctly?—That you’re rather proud that she still doesn’t know you?