Take me as i am

yesterday morning i woke up with my brain stuck on a cliche that didnt mean anything at all to me, i dont even know how it got in my head, but then i just started playing with it, having fun with words and ideas and this is how it all came down
Is it ok that i extended the last verse like stretching out the last chorus of a song?

~♥♥~

Take me out to dance all night
Take me where the moon is bright
Take me on a one-way flight
to nowhere or to Disneyland
Just take me as I am

Take me skating after school
Take your time and play it cool
Make exceptions be the rule
Dress all up like Uncle Sam
But take me as I am

Take me sailing on a boat
Parade me on a Christmas float
Play me like a music note
Take it any way you can
Just take me as I am

Take me to a petting zoo
or on a jet ski built for two
Give me what you cant undo
then take me in as part of you
Tell a lie and make it true
Tape me up and paint me blue
Just take me as I am

I love it, Tess. Never let go of those "twilight" phrases (going into or coming out of sleep). Scribble them down somewhere no matter how tired you are. That's how I got the main phrases for two of my songs, when I'd never written songs before. It works with poetry too. As a matter of fact, this has more the sound of a song than a poem because it is melodic. I love all the ways to "Take me..." then clinching with "Just take me as I am." In my brain, that it comes off as a song in a rather soft and light way . . . but it could be sung and/or read many different ways, different emotions. Good poem; better song.

Also, the breaking up of the "Take me" with "Parade me" and "Play me like a music note"--beautiful.

Take me,Take me
Come on and shake me
Just take me as I am
Don't try to understand
Just take me as I am
Tess,
I couldn't help singing this as I read it.The above is just a quick chorus that I thought up immediately after singing your "Poem"!!
This could be a great song,I couldn't help myself,I HAD TO sing it!

Boo: About the context, all I can say is "How can perfection be improved?!?" Now don't ever make me say that again! <33

Frankie: I think you're absolutely right! On both counts, but I mean especially about this being even better as a song. See Doug for the chorus

Doug: Again I'm in total agreement about "singing" it, coz right off the bat I wanted to hear a strong musical lilt in the very first line: Take me out to dance all night, rolling "all" about a half-note up. Like maybe (piano) F G A G A G-A F. It works for me anyway

Thank you all for everything you wrote and i have to agree i also think that it would be better as a song, and yea Doug that idea for a chorus sounds great, i coukd make smth like that work. Frankie yea i wanted to really bring out the theme but not too much so that it would be annoying so yea you saw what i meant to do

Mooniebear i'm sorry i didn't "hear" what you said.....what is it that can't be improved? ~♥♥~ ILY

..... Jeez .......... PERFECTION!! I said PERFECTION can't be improved on. Now I know you "heard" me this time

yea and also bcs maybe the site isnt gonna break this time before i can post
TY! :-)) <33

Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe

Take me,Take me
Come on and shake me
Just take me as I am
Tess,
I couldn't help singing this as I read it.The above is just a quick chorus that I thought up immediately after singing your "Poem"!!
This could be a great song,I couldn't help myself,I HAD TO sing it!

Exactly, Doug! This is full of energetic rhythm, feel like dancing. Lots of humour too and lovely "cheeky" lines, reminding me
of a Canadian poet,lol
Doug we could really sing a duet here
Thanks and thanks again Teshka, another surprise from you

Originally Posted by amaryn

Exactly, Doug! This is full of energetic rhythm, feel like dancing. Lots of humour too and lovely
"cheeky" lines, reminding me
of a Canadian poet,lol
Doug we could really sing a duet here
Thanks and thanks again Teshka, another surprise from you

Thanks for the shout out!It came as natural as...........take me,shake me!I was singing the "chorus"before I got done reading/singing this Masterpiece by Tess.I think the commercial potential is Right There!I hear Hit all over this!Seriously,any lyric/poem that can get you singing it,because you can't Help yourself,is saying a lot!

Originally Posted by Teshka

Thank you all for everything you wrote and i have to agree i also think that it would be better as a song, and yea Doug that idea for a chorus sounds great, i coukd make smth like that work. Frankie yea i wanted to really bring out the theme but not too much so that it would be annoying so yea you saw what i meant to do

Mooniebear i'm sorry i didn't "hear" what you said.....what is it that can't be improved? ~♥♥~ ILY

Oh, Tess, my poetry, if you have read them, always tries somehow to have some musical rhythm, but I'm only "on my way"IMHO and

your "TAKE ME AS I AM" seems indeed JUST what I hope to reach one day hardly improvable anymore!

Tess, I've never thought of you as a "country music" person at all. However, your lyrics make me think of this beautiful Mary Chapin Carpenter song, "It's Too Much To Expect (But Not Too Much To Ask"). So I'm posting it here, for your pleasure . . . and knowing that I'm still thinking about your song (I mean, poem!):


[ZekP2RkX-CQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZekP2RkX-CQ[/video]

lol Frankie almost no one has ever known that about me but there are 2 or 3 things that make it so...

One thing is that my Dad has a few favorite country musicians and he has lots of older CDs that he plays in his car (bcs he hates radio) and as soon as i started playing that song i remembered her voice. and i wish i could remember or find a certain song by her but i can't right now..

another is that i did a lot of my growing up in a small town in central Virginia and it was very country so i'm sure that i've heard it all at least once in my life and i just love music, that's the third thing, i just love music as if my heart needs it to keep beating

This is one song that i found by a country singer that i remember as well as any that i can name, bcs my Dad used to be totally crazy about her



and thank you for that song!

Send me a PM about the M. C. Carpenter song--if you know a few lyrcs, I probably know which one it is.

it may take me another week to remember that song bcs its just a vague memory of her name and voice.....but if it comes to me yea i'll pm you right away, and thank you

Unreasonable!! Your Poem is very
amazing!! When I read it I
felt myself go into another
world.

Dark1979;
Thanks for giving this SONG the bump it deserves.That forces me to,once again sing this and dance(in my head)and puts a smile on my face.For this I Thank You!

Thank you so much guys

Tess,
When you deserve it,you deserve it.Of ALL the lyrics/poems I've read on this site,this is the one which I'd most like to do when my band starts rehearsing again.(I'm speaking of someone else's besides my songs)If it ever comes about,do I have your okay to add the "Chorus"I spoke of?

yea Doug that would be fine as long as it doesnt come out sounding "too" cheeky bcs i didnt mean it quite that way

Heavens no!Me,cheeky?How could you!Seriously,at the rate were going,the End of Days will probably precede it!