In Sleep

Thread: In Sleep

Tags: heavy metal lyrics, lyrics feedback, lyrics review, rock and roll, sleep
  1. Tomatomic said:

    Default In Sleep

    Being decapitated in the street
    by a madman in black
    being stalked through the alley
    by a psychotic butcher
    disembowelled,
    blood on the ground,
    the object of a dead man's fantasy!!
    Trapped in the never ending dark
    just waiting for death to come
    left alone to burn in a house on fire
    my neck snapped by my brother
    under the knife,
    tormented afterlife
    the victim of my own insanity!!

    is this a dream?
    or is it made flesh?
    Nobody knows, nobody cares!!
    It's real to me
    and that hurts much more
    must I live in my own worst nightmares...
    IN SLEEP!!!
    IN SLEEP!!!

    Being devoured alive by insects
    striped of flesh by wolves
    ripped apart by the daemons
    hunted in my home, my sanctuary
    alone and terrified,
    ****ing petrified
    crying in the dark like a baby!!
    Locked in a rusted cage
    the bars stained with skin and blood
    preserved skulls with eyes aglow
    follow me in my dreams
    raped mind
    one of a kind
    a way out just seems so easy!!

    is this a dream?
    or is it made flesh?
    Nobody knows, nobody cares!!
    It's real to me
    and that hurts much more
    I live in my own worst nightmares...
    IN SLEEP!!!
    IN SLEEP!!!

    so we all heard the stories
    and we never learnt
    just how to play with fire
    we still got burnt
    I’ve only seen the horrors
    in my dreams
    that doesn't change
    how I feel!!!
    here it comes again....

    is this a dream?
    or is it made flesh?
    Nobody knows, nobody cares!!
    It's real to me
    and that hurts much more
    must I live in my own worst nightmares...
    IN SLEEP!!!
    IN SLEEP!!!
     
  2. KathyB said:

    Default

    Well, this is surely descriptive!

    The verses work...I would take away is this a dream and flesh line...it feels like it waters it down. The heavy line is I live in my own worst nightmares. Maybe rewrite the chorus around I live in my own worst nightmares...making it simple because there is so much info in the verses. Let the listener rest a bit in the chorus.

    If you are going for Rage against the Machine feel make the chorus tighter and your verses need a bit more rhyme and meter.
    Kathy
     
  3. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

    Default

    The first verse,very Jack the Ripper-ish
    "Please don't shake me,no,don't wake me
    Leave me where I am
    I'm only sleeping"
    J.Lennon
    Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 10-20-2012 at 08:05 AM. Reason: Lennon Quote