Dusha (Russian)

Hello, I translated this song to from Russian to English and I'm not sure if it's correct or not. Can someone let me know of my mistakes and help me fix them please

Душа

Тихий звук опустившихся рук разбудит мир
Томный взгляд, как небесный разряд; я твой кумир
Я нежна, но в душе холодна, пока есть ты
Мои слова это в сердце стрела - ее лови

Я живу для тебя, я дышу для тебя
Для тебя хочу
Быть метелью в душе, и неважно уже
Кто - кого люблю

Я могу для тебя, я могу, я могла
Просто быть другой
Быть твоею всегда, если ты не судьба
Если ты чужой

Тихий звук опустившихся рук - ты так хотел
Томный взгляд, как небесный разряд; и ты сумел
Я нежна, но в душе холодна, а в чувствах ноль
Мои слова это в сердце стрела - тупая боль


Soul

The silent sound fallen from the hand awakens the world
Languid eyes, like a heaven class; I'm your idol (or is it lover?)
I'm gentle, but it's cold in my soul, while you're here
My words are in the heart arrow, catch it

I live for you, I breathe for you
I will for you
To be a blizzard in the soul, and no matter
Who I love

I can for you, I can, I could
Just to be different
To always be yours, if you're not my destiny
If you belong to somebody else

The silent sound fallen from the hand, you wanted it that way
Languid eyes, like a heaven class, and you managed it
I'm gentle, but it's cold in my soul, and there are zero (no) feelings
My words are in the heart arrow, the dull pain

I'm bad in English grammar, but meaning is right. By the way, text haven't meaning, entirely

Soul

The silent sound of the fallen hands awakens the world
Languid sight, like a heaven discharge; I'm your idol (or is it lover?)
I'm gentle, but it's cold in my soul, while you're here
My words are in the heart arrow, catch it

I live for you, I breathe for you
Для тебя хочу
Быть метелью в душе ~ Я для тебя хочу быть метелью в душе
I want to be a blizzard in the soul for you, and no matter
Who I love

I can for you, I can, I could
Just to be different
To always be yours, if you're not my destiny
If you belong to somebody else

The silent sound of the fallen hands , you so wanted it
Languid sight, like a heaven discharge, and you managed it
I'm gentle, but it's cold in my soul, and there are zero (no) feelings
My words are in the heart arrow, the dull pain

Originally Posted by jawk

I'm bad in English grammar, but meaning is right. By the way, text haven't meaning, entirely

A few corrections, then.

Soul

The silent sound of the fallen hands will awaken the world
Languid sight, like a heaven discharge; I'm your idol
I'm gentle, but there's a coldness in my soul, as long as you're here
My words are like an arrow in the heart, catch it

I live for you, I breathe for you
I want to be a blizzard in the soul for you, and it doesn't matter anymore
Whom I love

For you I can, I could (here: "могла ...быть" can mean either could be=was able to be or could have been)
Just be different
Always be yours, even if you're not my destiny
If you belong to someone else

The silent sound of the fallen hands, you so wanted it
Languid sight, like a heaven discharge, and you managed it
I'm gentle, but there's a coldness in my soul, and there are no feelings
My words are like an arrow in the heart, a dull pain

Thanks for the corrections, it really helped!

I have a few questions about the song, just so that I can understand the grammar

what kind of conjugation is опустившихся ?
so "разбудит" is the will tense, or is it a different tense?
кумир= Idol (does it mean somebody you admire, singer or does it have a different meaning)
это в сердце стрела (when it says "are like an arrow in the heart is the "eto" mean "like" or something like that?)
Просто быть другой ( the meaning " just be different" is she telling him to be different or herself?)

Greetings ^_^

Originally Posted by mabushii

I have a few questions about the song, just so that I can understand the grammar

1. what kind of conjugation is опустившихся ? - this is past participle; that have fallen (down)

2.so "разбудит" is the will tense, or is it a different tense? - yeah it's the classic future tense of a verb that describes a completed action; in Slavic languages you got two type of verbs; one type describes completed actions, the other - uncompleted actions; it affects their conjugation immensely, for depending on the group you might be able to create only some of the past and future tenses;
Eg.
есть (not completed) - to eat (possible tenses: present, present continuous, future continuous (only), past continuous (only));
съесть (completed) -to have eaten (possible tenses: simple past, past perfect, future and future perfect; note the lack of present tenses, for you cannot be doing something, that has already been done)

3. кумир= Idol (does it mean somebody you admire, singer or does it have a different meaning) - yes, correct! haven't found other meanings in my dictionary

4. это в сердце стрела (when it says "are like an arrow in the heart is the "eto" mean "like" or something like that?) - это means this, that, the Russian syntax here is different from the English translation; "this (is) an arrow in the heart" is a literal translation. When you point at a building and say это мой дом you say "this (is) my house"; note the absence of the verb to be, although it's an implied verb here, although physically absent!!!

5.Просто быть другой ( the meaning " just be different" is she telling him to be different or herself?) - it looks like being her present self doesn't work with him, so she's telling him that she could change for him to better adapt to him, this is how I understand it

Originally Posted by mabushii

Greetings ^_^

Same to you, Mabushii!

Sorry if I've said too much about things that you already know

Prived!

Thanks Paul

NP. I'm always glad to help.