Citron Lover Slowly Ablates

I don't know if I have ever shared this, but these are the very first verses that I ever came up with after I began my journey to becoming a songwriter this past June. I remember walking languidly through a large cemetery near my apartment in Seattle and speaking these lyrics into my Ipod microphone. What you'll read is not close to being a real song, only a handful of verses that barely cohere in my honest opinion.


don't say you love me when you can't pay your bills
you've got another thing coming
all of your running round is leaving me chilled
where went the heat from your loving?

your sweet-n-sour hit the spot, i won't lie
but that was back in the beginning
most of what you've done since been making me cry
you've taken much more than you've given

shimmied up my tree, you crawled into my nest
made yourself at home completely
maxed out your credit, made your last mess
you're done cutting on me sweetly

citron lover slowly ablates
up ahead her mother plays a hand of spades
on well hydrated corrugated roofs
leaking truth serum like the fountain of youth

once upon a time when i felt that i could
share with you my secret passwords
i should've known, then, you were up to no good
calling me your piece of **** bastard

you stole my love, this makes you a crook
jackal why'd you bait and switch me?
next time you're pining for another man's look
may your line of crap die swiftly

had i known a gypsy was you in disguise
i'd've chased you off at once
you rootless klepto with mesmeric eyes
must've marked me out as a dunce

don't rush to judgement, i've mended my ways
even though it took me some time
often it's the bigger man who walks away
the sooner he'll be feeling fine

citron lover slowly ablates
up ahead her mother plays a hand of spades
on well hydrated corrugated roofs
leaking truth serum like the fountain of youth

Deshaun!
Many bitter thoughts spread out over a number of verses. Maybe you can tighten these words even further.
It will strengthen the song, though there are some lovely and catchy lines found here.

A small protest: the word "gypsy" as an equivalent of "not worth trust" is dubious. I happen to have some fine gypsy friends and this sounds
therefore bad to me!

Otherwise the thought is good and I particularly like:
"you stole my love, this makes you a crook
jackal, why'd you bait and switch me?......."

when it comes to rhyme, it ain't important, as long as it is singable.
The reason songs are mostly put into rhyme is also a matter of easiness to sing them.
As I am a singer myself (my work) I see it that way.
It makes it also easier to remember lines.

Welcome to join the crowd!