Together forever

Thread: Together forever

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  1. Renegade412 said:

    Default Together forever

    Tell me what you think about the song I just wrote and how I could improve it. Please keep in mind its the first song I ever wrote and I know its not very deep, but I feel it has some potential. Its supposed to sound similar to Blink-182.

    I saw her standing over there
    And I Acted like I didn't even care
    I didn't know what I should say
    I just wanted everyone else to go away


    So I went home and I watched tv
    And I wondered what she didn't see in me
    Called my boss and said I wasn't coming in
    Why the f*** does she like him?

    I just wish that you could see
    That you should always be with me
    That we were meant to be

    (Chorus)Together forever
    Lets do this
    I'll prove it
    Just give me
    Just one chance
    I'll ask you
    To the dance

    I get so nervous when I talk to you
    The words they slip away and I always fall through
    I almost always get lost in your smile
    I wish I saw you more than once in a while
    Because I know that we should be
    (Chorus)
     
  2. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

    Default

    If you would not immediately want to keep her forever, you'd probably be more relaxed and wouldn't feel half as nervous when meeting her,lol

    Thanks- I was a shy boy myself once upon a time