Human Remedies

Thread: Human Remedies

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  1. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

    Default Human Remedies


    Pagans and wise

    Gather 'round tables
    Awaiting a temple rise
    With knife and fork
    As weapons

    On tables sound
    A massacre unfolds

    With triangle sight
    As gods willing
    On marked soil
    In light of her
    In sight of her
    With hopes towards
    The sun

    Pagans and wise
    Now mere believers
    For the monuments
    Awaiting
    Abiding to its cause
    Nor sceptic as nature
    To look around again

    Followers
    Tracing whilst
    Pondering and fears creeping
    Time's deciding
    Who's to becomes a
    Beacon of trust

    A cult's remedy
    Their words on plates
    Like faith
    Towards the greater
    Miserable lies now
    Words of light

    Wise men and constant searchers
    For fairy tales to mainstay as
    Scriptures in every home
    A tapestry to behold

    Once archaic days
    Where fallen stars
    A dust from heaven
    Now angels sent
    As Pythagorean signs
    For the generals
    Thy abide


    I have 2 questions and that is: Is there to many words repeating here? And was it difficult to read without punctuation?
    Last edited by Eccer; 03-24-2013 at 12:12 AM.
     
  2. Jim Colyer's Avatar

    Jim Colyer said:

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    It was easy to read. I'm just not sure what it means. I sense the medieval tone.
     
  3. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    It's about finding a right even when one doesn't entirely believe in it, as saying it was an act of god, when something is impossible to explain. In this case I wanted to put an old vision on it, of how simple men became believers when faced with something you could call a miracle.
     
  4. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    I've come back to read this several times.My first impression is it's good poetry.Second impression it could be a great song,depending on the musical direction.Something written this well usually throws me for a loop.This certainly did,but I'm sure with the right music,the right vocals(Ozzy,perhaps)this could be a Classic!