Whoa, Philip! I read it just as you suggested. This gave the poem greater personal impact. Wish I could claim this poem as my own, I like it so much.
This is what I call a "performance poem." However, this one need not be "performed" in public; one can perform it if only the reader will do as you asked. Very few of my poems are "performance poems," but the ones that are must be heard and not read to get the full meaning, inflections, etc. So, I appreciate that you explained the importance of reading yours aloud.
Thank you for sharing this poem.
P.S. Do check out Doug's "Pumpkinhead"--well worth the read!