Thank You

Thread: Thank You

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  1. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default Thank You

    Memories of a broken home
    are very much like
    the pain of a broken bone.

    I once had an urge
    to numb this emotion
    something to soothe,
    this commotion
    inside my head.

    I was once full of dread
    to face my pain
    Instead,
    I pushed my feelings aside
    to abstain from the stride
    of life.

    I picked up a pipe
    and embarked on a ride
    that left me dead
    inside.

    Far from rational, I was CRAZY
    Drugs took me to the bottoms
    of hell- a sight
    that Satan himself
    would pay to see!

    My life was nothing less than a play
    My character, Jessie, had a flare for the dramatic
    and rarely let anything get in her way
    of having a good time...she refused
    to be pragmatic
    logical, or cohesive...
    Jessie's character fell apart
    in a thousand little pieces

    With pride at my side
    I refused to accept help
    I trusted no one to confide
    into "How do you feel?"
    $hit, I didn't even know
    what was fake, what was real

    Day by day, I began to heal
    and it was through that process
    that I found God
    and thanked him for the will
    to learn how to feel
    without the aide
    of a little blue pill.

    Trusting in God
    that I stay clean and sober
    I relinquished control
    and SNAP!, like that
    my turmoil was over!

    Memories, yes they'll always be there
    At times they flood my mind
    like a broken, distorted mirror

    In that respect,
    I am an enigma-
    a human puzzle.
    I hustle
    to gather all the pieces
    then go to my journal
    where the emotion releases.

    Newly sober and content, my mind is a flurry
    to do this, to do that..
    I'm always in a hurry!

    But, if I run, instead of walk as God has suggested
    toward the light
    my Spiritual GPS
    will tell me to turn left
    when Harmony and Tranquility
    are clearly to the right.

    Today, God guides me in every way
    What was once empty
    Internally
    is now filled to the tee
    by my deity
    with peace, love
    and Serenity.

    And for that God,
    I thank Thee...
    Because
    Without You,
    There would be
    no Me.
     
  2. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    Wow.....very insightful to a person who has evolved and "seen the light"!I like both the message and the way you posted it.It's got a great rhythm to it.Only thing is I wish it'd have the date it was written,I know it wasn't written today,since I saw another draft.Great start,I hope there's more to come!
     
  3. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    Wow.....very insightful to a person who has evolved and "seen the light"!I like both the message and the way you posted it.It's got a great rhythm to it.Only thing is I wish it'd have the date it was written,I know it wasn't written today,since I saw another draft.Great start,I hope there's more to come!
    I appreciate your feedback...I'm not sure if I posted it in the right genre, but overcoming the initial fear of 'putting my self' out there, I feel more confident in writing more and posting more...so, Doug, thank you for that. You are a blessing and a good friend.
     
  4. Johnb31's Avatar

    Johnb31 said:

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    Wow!! this spoke straight to my heart that doesn't happen very often. Incredible message great rythmn your journey to God really shows that He can help anyone as long as you let Him take the wheel. Thank you for sharing this I know that many people including myself will find hope in these words.
    There is not enough space or time to truly let the song unwind
     
  5. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

    Default

    I found many sections of this piece powerful...Right from the attention-grabbing opener till the very thankful end.

    I'll be back to read some more, it's worth it.

    "My spiritual GPS" will definitely still steer me back here.
     
  6. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    Lot's of personal feelings in this! Even I have a hard time revealing my feelings through texts, without making another story or an enigma to shroud it as something else. To come clean with this so openly is damn brave! And I think this was actually good You place rhyming and pacing very fluidly, without overdoing it and therefore; Making this a pleasant read! (no offense intended!)

    I think you got potential, so please stick around! Writing seems to be rare these days and thus. This forum is in dire need of every newcomer daringly to rhyme themselves into eternity.... lol
     
  7. mexico62 said:

    Default

    Hi Jessie:

    I must tell you that you almost made me cry, you capture the attention as we see the lines, like in a movie in our brain, a year ago I lost a dear person and I started two courses, one for thanatology, to bear the pain, and other in basic religion, to try to get closer to God, and as you say, God help us to ease the pain, our faith let us not change the truth, but see it in another way.
    Your thread is in the right place, is a wonderful poem, that express your feelings, part of your life, and the overcoming to a new and marvelous life. But it made me remember the song "Amazing" by Aerosmith, wich theme is similar, so I think that it would be possible that your poem could be the lyrics for a rock song. Hope we can read more of your thinkings very soon, congratulations for your style, for your courage and for sharing with us the knowing that any person who is in pain can start again and again, life is a continuous line of fallings and standing ups. Thank you very much
     
  8. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eccer View Post
    Lot's of personal feelings in this! Even I have a hard time revealing my feelings through texts, without making another story or an enigma to shroud it as something else. To come clean with this so openly is damn brave! And I think this was actually good You place rhyming and pacing very fluidly, without overdoing it and therefore; Making this a pleasant read! (no offense intended!)

    I think you got potential, so please stick around! Writing seems to be rare these days and thus. This forum is in dire need of every newcomer daringly to rhyme themselves into eternity.... lol
    Thank you so much!! It really took me awhile to post this! I originally went to College for writing, but never followed through with it...once I became intertwined in the life of sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, I lost my creativity- I lost my muse, my inspiration and my identity. It has taken years- this is the first poem I've written in almost 10 years. Doug Denslowe has seen my last one that was published..it was written before I was seduced by the romanticized life of drugs. Now, that I'm sober and have the support of like-minded people, expect to see more of me. Thanks for the feedback!
     
  9. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mexico62 View Post
    Hi Jessie:

    I must tell you that you almost made me cry, you capture the attention as we see the lines, like in a movie in our brain, a year ago I lost a dear person and I started two courses, one for thanatology, to bear the pain, and other in basic religion, to try to get closer to God, and as you say, God help us to ease the pain, our faith let us not change the truth, but see it in another way.
    Your thread is in the right place, is a wonderful poem, that express your feelings, part of your life, and the overcoming to a new and marvelous life. But it made me remember the song "Amazing" by Aerosmith, wich theme is similar, so I think that it would be possible that your poem could be the lyrics for a rock song. Hope we can read more of your thinkings very soon, congratulations for your style, for your courage and for sharing with us the knowing that any person who is in pain can start again and again, life is a continuous line of fallings and standing ups. Thank you very much
    I can't even tell you how good that makes me feel! As a writer, I want to connect with the reader and tell a story, at the same time allowing the reader to have his/her own visuals, thoughts and even be able to relate to some of the things I wrote. Your feedback was so very nice, it really made my day. I will def. post more poems, I have to wait for the right moment....I am unable to just sit down and write at the drop of a hat...I'll be washing dishes and run over to my journal b/c my mind just flooded with a ton of ideas, so I'm writing on a notebook with hands dripping of water and Dawn dish soap, soaking through my 'pain' that I'm journaling. There is a literary term called "stream of consciousness". William Faulkner was a big fan of this style. It's writing non-stop, no puncuation and no editing...completely raw thoughts and inspirations jotted on a piece of paper...this is how my mind works as well...when it comes..IT COMES...BUT i have my dry seasons as well. Thanks so much for the feedback!
     
  10. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnb31 View Post
    Wow!! this spoke straight to my heart that doesn't happen very often. Incredible message great rythmn your journey to God really shows that He can help anyone as long as you let Him take the wheel. Thank you for sharing this I know that many people including myself will find hope in these words.
    Thanks so much!! I am glad that my message was clear to the reader and even happier that you found 'hope' in my writing. As a writer, a psychologist, and a spiritual human being, my goal in life is to help others with any gifts God may have given me. Writing is something I love to do, and it warms my heart so much to hear that it touched someone's life and impacted them in a positive way, so thank you for that!- Jessie
     
  11. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    This shows in how many different ways a person can show a Pattern Of Emotions and end with presenting us a Tray of Honesty.
    It is therefore unimportant, what the think-tank world of the reader exists of: I am absolutely agnostic, yet I bow my head for
    someone who dares to speak up.
    Therefore, Jess, thanks, and may we hear from you again!
     
  12. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    "Tray of Honesty"?!?!
     
  13. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    "Tray of Honesty"?!?!
    it's a simile, which is much like a metaphor, but more of a visual interpretation of an abstract concept.
     
  14. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

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    I'd rather have a "Tray of Donuts"!!!!!
     
  15. amaryn's Avatar

    amaryn said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Denslowe View Post
    I'd rather have a "Tray of Donuts"!!!!!
    you're always thinking of food,lol: no wonder you need to walk a lot


    Jessie: thanks for an excellent explanation
     
  16. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by amaryn View Post
    you're always thinking of food,lol: no wonder you need to walk a lot


    Jessie: thanks for an excellent explanation
    no problem- he means well, he's just a goofball at heart, lol!!
     
  17. curiosity_kills_the_cat's Avatar

    curiosity_kills_the_cat said:

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    Enjoying all these... the words, the lines, the food(or thoughts & talk of it) , of course all carried on the" Tray of Honesty".
     
  18. Doug Denslowe's Avatar

    Doug Denslowe said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by curiosity_kills_the_cat View Post
    Enjoying all these... the words, the lines, the food(or thoughts & talk of it) , of course all carried on the" Tray of Honesty".
    Food for thought?
     
  19. Frankie Jasmine's Avatar

    Frankie Jasmine said:

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    Jessie . . . read your poem just now. Thank you for sharing it!
    First of all, I love the tempo. (I could go on about this aspect of your poem, but will not unless you want to hear the specifics. This quality is what impressed me the most--along with honesty--about Thank You.)
    Second, your poem is boldly personal. Congratulations on your self revelations. However, I do understand that the real point of Thank You is "self expression;" yet you were brave enough to share it! The first time or two posting personal poems was very hard for me also. Then the fear quickly disappeared, for similar reasons as you--the responses of others.
    Third, the story you tell through the poem is engaging. As a matter of fact, I disagree with no one who posted positive comments on "Thank You"!
    Fourth, when I got to "There would be no me," I thought . . . did you get inside my brain for sure??! I wrote a poem two days ago with similar ending though a different underlying meaning.
    Fifth, I enjoy also your expressions of faith. Some people are shy to relate such intimate things.

    But you, Jessie, put it all out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Thank you for your efforts, courage, honesty, and--I must add--talent. Keep writing!!

    Sixth, I also like your intelligence!
     
  20. jessie zuppo's Avatar

    jessie zuppo said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine View Post
    Jessie . . . read your poem just now. Thank you for sharing it!
    First of all, I love the tempo. (I could go on about this aspect of your poem, but will not unless you want to hear the specifics. This quality is what impressed me the most--along with honesty--about Thank You.)
    Second, your poem is boldly personal. Congratulations on your self revelations. However, I do understand that the real point of Thank You is "self expression;" yet you were brave enough to share it! The first time or two posting personal poems was very hard for me also. Then the fear quickly disappeared, for similar reasons as you--the responses of others.
    Third, the story you tell through the poem is engaging. As a matter of fact, I disagree with no one who posted positive comments on "Thank You"!
    Fourth, when I got to "There would be no me," I thought . . . did you get inside my brain for sure??! I wrote a poem two days ago with similar ending though a different underlying meaning.
    Fifth, I enjoy also your expressions of faith. Some people are shy to relate such intimate things.

    But you, Jessie, put it all out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Thank you for your efforts, courage, honesty, and--I must add--talent. Keep writing!!

    Sixth, I also like your intelligence!
    Frankie,
    This is my first time reading this!! Thank you SO MUCH for this inspiring critique! I hold your critiques in very high regard b/c you are so talented as a writer and so eloquent and positive in your critiques. I hope to be posting more soon...I need to FEEL it, it can't be forced..
    -jessie