Please crit my songs...

Despair Song:

Intro:


Part I:

I can't express how I feel
Knowing all these things are real
This nightmare comes into my mind
I don't think the right way I can find

Part II:

All mistakes that I've done
Made that everything I need has gone
And I don't see any solution
When will this end in conclusion

Chorus:

There is no hope
For something good
I've lost my chance
Not done what should

No matter how
Hard I try
This will never change
Another life passed by

Part III:

I'm so alone and no one
Can help me in this situation
To continue my existence
I just need some motivation

Part IV:

I know I have to blame myself
My world falls down, it's just a hell
When everything is lost
I'm losing in my mind

Chorus:

There is no hope
For something good
I've lost my chance
Not done what should
(x2)
No matter how
Hard I try
This will never change
Another life passed by

What do you think about it?

as long as it's from the heart you got nothing to worry about, it's hard to critique lyrics with out hearing the music...but just follow the two guide lines; write from the heart..use your pain dismay to make something good, and guideline two; never...ever censor yourself say everyting exactly how you mean it. let your intensions flow freely onto the page. oh and i forgot rule three..keep a journal(trust me it helps) keep up the good work!

thats a bludy gd song if ya made it gd work m8

wot u on if u fink thats bad dats a well gud song !!!x

Originally Posted by mc c3

wot u on if u fink thats bad dats a well gud song !!!x

i said thats a bludy good song

sos lol no i dint mean u i ment if ani1 ales thort it was dab they must b a bit of a g.i.m.p