Original Song. Hope you guys like it

Thread: Original Song. Hope you guys like it

Tags: lyrics, music, original music
  1. LouieS27 said:

    Default Original Song. Hope you guys like it

    Without You

    I can't make it through this world without you
    Although there are many other girls
    No one can compare to what you can do

    Without you I can't go on
    You make me feel blue for so long
    I've been near you but you never knew this pain
    Why does loving you seem like a game

    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    Your beauty is everything I look for
    Darling you make my life worthwhile
    It gets better every time you smile

    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    It's you and your love and nothing more
    Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
    Darling this is really a dream come true
    This couldn't have been possible without you

    I'll keep you happy at all cost
    Because without you I'll will be lost
    They tell me don't look back and move forward
    But sweetheart without you , I wouldn't know what to move toward

    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    Your presence is what I get out of bed for
    You gave me a perfect first impression
    An angel with a heart full of passion
    Darling you make my life worthwhile
    I gain happiness each time you smile

    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    It's you and your love and nothing more
    Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
    Darling this is really a dream come true
    This couldn't have been possible without you

    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    It's you and your love and nothing more
    Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
    Darling this is really a dream come true
    This couldn't have been possible without you
     
  2. MR.BULLSHIT said:

    Default

    Coo sh×t
     
  3. anonymous's Avatar

    anonymous said:

    Default

    Thanks for submitting it's always good to get your ideas out there.
    I don't know if you're looking for criticism, but I think this is solid if it's aiming to be on par with a lot of surface-level, lacking a deeper meaning content that is published today. If you are looking to create something with a powerful and more moving message I recommend some revision. The song has a lot of lyrics that seem so familiar that I've heard before. I feel like it's too vague and uses a lot of the standard vocabulary from a love song. For example that chorus/hook:
    Quote Originally Posted by LouieS27 View Post
    Oh baby , you are who I adore
    It's you and your love and nothing more
    Now I realize your everything I'm looking for
    Darling this is really a dream come true
    This couldn't have been possible without you
    There are some cliches in there and if this was intentional then good job. If not then I would be more than happy to give more feedback and help collaborate on this with you. Again thanks for sharing because it's good to share your content. Hope I didn't sound too harsh.