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  1. #1
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    Default Song lyrics - I'll welcome your review!

    These are the first lyrics I've written - please don't hesitate to give me criticism!

    Laid in the darkness of your own room,
    Another poor attempt at writing a tune,
    It’s all futile cause you’re the loom,
    That softly threads all your own gloom.

    I won’t look at you like I have something to say,
    They say everything’s gonna be okay,
    and that in time things will start going your way,
    You tell yourself that almost every day.

    Mornings are always the same,
    Headache, nausea and pain,
    Friends are calling out your name,
    But they never see the rain, which you so frantically tame.

    Four walls and a roof might build a home,
    But that means nothing when you feel alone.
    Pent up envy spreads through your bones,
    You wish you were made of stone.

    Your insignificance is the cause of your malevolence,
    Things you hide with pretence remain relentless.
    No longer can you be selfless, try to numb your senses
    You’re fed up of hindsight and second guesses.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Kerri Faye Yates's Avatar
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    These 4 lines really struck me.
    "Four walls and a roof might build a home,
    But that means nothing when you feel alone.
    Pent up envy spreads through your bones,
    You wish you were made of stone."
    ~Kerri Faye

  3. #3
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    This truly speaks to me, I feel like this daily. Keep up the good work!

  4. #4
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    i like it...

  5. #5
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    this is a good song we are kindred spirits I forgot my songs at home I don't nobody to steal them away from me. maybe you can help me with my songs and give me some criticism.

  6. #6
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    I thought it was pretty good.

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