Say It for me

Thread: Say It for me

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  1. FallenCrown said:

    Default Say It for me

    There aren't a lot of words, but it's a work in progress. But I don't really know how it's turning out.

    Say it for me
    --------
    This storm will rage on
    Peace is only a hope
    Anger always punishes
    But patience hurts
    The truth will damage
    But lies kill more
    I would know.
    Follow your own path
    My road is closed
    Nothing but broken stone
    I pave a new road, but it's too much
    A light flickered on
    And that anger vanished
    It was almost.. peace.
    Don't turn back
    Don't flip off
    Stay with me
    And say it again
    You can hurt me
    You can abuse me
    You can scar me
    But you will heal me
    So say it
    (for me)
    Give me the words to carry on
    Give me the hope to fight back
    Give me the strength to stand up
    Give me the insight to help myself.
    I know you are hurt too
    I know this world threw you out
    I've seen the world hit you down
    Let me start this off
    Let me help you
    Let me give you a chance
    Let me take care of your heart
    So I can put this bluntly
    Or expand the context
    Not a speck of your life is wrong
    You are pure perfection
    You are the light in the dark
    Only you can hurt yourself
    You are beautiful.
    I love everything you are
    I love you.

    ---------
    Cringe worthy I'm aware XD
     
  2. crypticWords said:

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    I like it a lot. It's not like a typical love song, it's very hope-inspiring. The lines "You can hurt me [...] But you will heal me" are particularly powerful to me. Nice job!
     
  3. FallenCrown said:

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    Most my writings have actually been targeted at my past when my ex commitee suicide, I mostly only do poetry but I'm trying to get into song writing more
     
  4. FallenCrown said:

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    Committed*
     
  5. Alucard23 said:

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    I think it’s really well written and you can feel the emotion in the words you write! I like it. I can see what you mean when you said very similar styles!
     
  6. FallenCrown said:

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    Thank you!
     
  7. FallenCrown said:

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    And yeah Alucard, it's the whole like sad feeling but the song somehow still gives across a feeling of hope
     
  8. jun said:

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    I see what you going for bro add content to your multies though you know what i mean put a lil structure in your bars give it some body and itll be dope pimp tell a story with your music dont make it sound written or templated be unique man
     
  9. jun said:

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    Something like this

    So its ok
    Who said you can say it for me
    The funk i look like letting some trick take the glory
    But i love you
    Everytime i say it you just tell me funk you
    You drive me crazy jason vorhees
    Just tell me who said you can say it for me .....
    Just constructive criticism is all im giving bub point to point music is whack tell a story