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Thread: My Rap, please read!

  1. #1
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    Default My Rap, please read!

    They tryin to tell everyone these days that we at war
    Wit an enemy thatís just out on your front door
    Only a few people really know the score
    They the ones that adore the case for war
    Itís called war-profiteering you should know that by now
    Halliburton, **** Cheney, The Wicked Witch
    Stealin from the poor and givin to the rich
    They lies penetratin your brain through the TV screen
    Itís called Fox news *****, what else you seen?
    I stopped cariní
    Stopped scariní
    Stopped stariní into the sun
    Stopped *****iní about the need to own a gun
    They killed Sadat wit em for being a dirty traitor
    They killed King wit em for bein an innovator
    Just depends how you see it
    Through the eyes of the beholder
    But I guess if you put a gun in your hands that makes you bolder
    Quicker to shoot
    Quicker to loot
    Quicker to pull a blade on a ***** for bein a fruit loop
    Quicker to judge
    And slower to think
    Slower to take the time to let it sink
    Into your head that this threat donít exist
    Al-Qaeda, Bin Laden? Whoís the real terrorist?
    The answer is simple friend donít hesitate
    To hate the state that controls your very fate
    America, land of the free, home of the brave
    Did we forget to mention Guantanamo? Thatís the home of the slaves
    We liberatin Iraq
    Freein Afghanistan
    These countries were better off without the US hand
    All over the world
    All up in other peopleís ****
    Then they wonder why the planes flyin at the towers were such a direct hit

    so what u think? I just started makin rhymes up a few days ago so they might not be so good but this is the best I could do for such a short time (10 mins I wrote this in)

    any comments i'm thankful for

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Illest1227 For This Useful Post:
    JDigGz (05-15-2011),kidheart1 (02-17-2011),loljeremyidk (01-31-2012),TekNoBoi (05-17-2011)

  3. #2
    Senior Member Gawain2112's Avatar
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    Sweet rap. Im not a fan of rap because people take it and turn it into sex, alcohol and drugs. Your's has some meaning, a purpose. congradulations, you have my vote.
    The media loves their latest tragic suicide,
    They exploit it, then patened it,
    And profit from the people who died.
    -Nevermore

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Gawain2112 For This Useful Post:
    JDigGz (05-15-2011)

  5. #3
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    I really like it. It is pretty good. You should put some more up so I can read more. I thought it was great.
    FORGET WHAT YOU JUST SAW!!!!!!!!!

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Brit For This Useful Post:
    JDigGz (05-15-2011)

  7. #4
    Luke of Metal
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    6 bars can be a verse if it wants to, the boundaries of music do not always have to be textbook.

  8. #5
    Senior Member Ultimate_Worrier's Avatar
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    The best rap I ever heard was from the 80's and early 90's: Bands like Public Enemy and NWA, Grandmaster Flash, Run DMC, etc.

    Those acts didn't rhyme every other line with the one that proceeded it eg:

    "I am a cat
    I wear a hat
    I'm in a hole
    I look like a mole"

    ...And so on


    I find if you constantly use the above rap "style" you'll look like an amateur or even worse - Eminem...


    Just my two cents
    * Difference of opinion is not argument, only difference.
    * Just because you don't like something, doesn't make it sh*t
    * You are all individual, just like everyone else.

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    Grendels (04-07-2011)

  10. #6
    Junior Member Dragon's Avatar
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    first off luke of metal there should be nothing textbook about music it constantly changes and you cant truely learn anything from a textbook, it should be from the heart. secondly don't say things you can't back up. then finally pimpin phil just get off the forum or better yet the website stealing people music just isn't cool i don't care who you think you are your rap sucks ****ing gangsta p bull **** you couldn't rap to save your life let alone know how to get high.
    Destruction is not the human way, it's greeds way. The human way is hope and finding our own way.

  11. #7
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    BIG up for illest ...

  12. #8
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    Thumbs up good good.

    I will have to say,Illest is ill.That was good.Even more so because it's not like most "Rap" songs,I got ma money cars and cloths drugs and guns throwin elbows and sh**,(Just comparing)It's something that clearly came from the heart.


    Good one.I look forward to seeing more of your work.
    Some simple logic is in affect.

  13. #9
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    pretty good flow man, and actually saying something of value unlike most people on here...definitely respect this rap
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

    I stay in tune with the stars sun and moon
    'cause behind bars your doomed if your mind can't consume

  14. #10
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    Those were the true days of hip hop...damn, I wish it would come back haha

    "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back"...definitely one of the best albums I've ever heard, today's mainstream **** is nowhere close
    Last edited by intelligentdevelopment; 04-12-2009 at 05:28 PM. Reason: word spelled wrong
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

    I stay in tune with the stars sun and moon
    'cause behind bars your doomed if your mind can't consume

  15. #11
    Junior Member Leah-the-drummer's Avatar
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    Im not much into rap(at all) but this is pretty good :] gotta say im impressed
    Its a sad beautiful world

  16. #12
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    dude, i liked it, it was real. it kind of sounded like nas

  17. #13
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    thanx bro i try my best...............

  18. #14
    Luke of Metal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragon View Post
    first off luke of metal there should be nothing textbook about music it constantly changes and you cant truely learn anything from a textbook, it should be from the heart.
    1. Thanks for telling things I could never have learnt playing music for 27 years and listening to it for 32 </sarcasm>

    2. "Textbook" means "executed by the book" or "the standard way".
    Textbook rapping adheres to the original way it was carried out, to a simpole beat and rhythm...

    secondly don't say things you can't back up.
    I've no idea what you mean here.

    Do you mean I can't rap? Anyone can rap if they can rhyme and have a knowledge of beats and rhythm... Being a drummer I know both.

    Plus I'm actually a fan a oldschool hip hop.

    Or do you mean I cannot back up a knowledge of music?
    Being a musician for 27 years, I think your statement's redundant.


    then finally pimpin phil just get off the forum or better yet the website stealing people music just isn't cool i don't care who you think you are your rap sucks ****ing gangsta p bull **** you couldn't rap to save your life let alone know how to get high.
    Why did you put your words to me slating my post then nullified it by posting that illiterate, aggressive pile of crap?


    You sir, just got Schooled by the person you tried to school in the first place.

  19. #15
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    Umm..all he asked for was to read his rap and comment on it. Not to write your own here. Plus, this thread was made in 07. Why are people still writing here?

  20. #16
    Senior Member razvy2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illest1227 View Post
    They tryin to tell everyone these days that we at war
    Wit an enemy thatís just out on your front door
    Only a few people really know the score
    They the ones that adore the case for war
    Itís called war-profiteering you should know that by now
    Halliburton, **** Cheney, The Wicked Witch
    Stealin from the poor and givin to the rich
    They lies penetratin your brain through the TV screen
    Itís called Fox news *****, what else you seen?
    I stopped cariní
    Stopped scariní
    Stopped stariní into the sun
    Stopped *****iní about the need to own a gun
    They killed Sadat wit em for being a dirty traitor
    They killed King wit em for bein an innovator
    Just depends how you see it
    Through the eyes of the beholder
    But I guess if you put a gun in your hands that makes you bolder
    Quicker to shoot
    Quicker to loot
    Quicker to pull a blade on a ***** for bein a fruit loop
    Quicker to judge
    And slower to think
    Slower to take the time to let it sink
    Into your head that this threat donít exist
    Al-Qaeda, Bin Laden? Whoís the real terrorist?
    The answer is simple friend donít hesitate
    To hate the state that controls your very fate
    America, land of the free, home of the brave
    Did we forget to mention Guantanamo? Thatís the home of the slaves
    We liberatin Iraq
    Freein Afghanistan
    These countries were better off without the US hand
    All over the world
    All up in other peopleís ****
    Then they wonder why the planes flyin at the towers were such a direct hit

    so what u think? I just started makin rhymes up a few days ago so they might not be so good but this is the best I could do for such a short time (10 mins I wrote this in)

    any comments i'm thankful for
    cool man, straight 10! check my lyrics and tell me what do you think.
    it's okay, i get it poppin'

  21. #17
    Luke of Metal
    Guest

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragon View Post
    first off luke of metal there should be nothing textbook about music it constantly changes and you cant truely learn anything from a textbook, it should be from the heart. secondly don't say things you can't back up. then finally pimpin phil just get off the forum or better yet the website stealing people music just isn't cool i don't care who you think you are your rap sucks ****ing gangsta p bull **** you couldn't rap to save your life let alone know how to get high.
    ... Jesus, I bet you're a hit with the ladies aren't you...

    Check it...


    Listen up one and all to the rhyme I bring
    to the people on allthelyrics who claim one thing
    - that they be the best to rhyme and rap with vigour
    yet they rhyme using words like ni**er!?
    Showing themselves immature bringing their crass lines to the floor
    making themselves look younger than they are.
    Shouting their mouth about the guns on they' shelves
    if you had a gun to your dome, you'd be shi**ing yourself - that's true too!!
    Never ever heard Chuck D disrespect himself mid-flow
    Or neither Run (or DMC) - so know you know
    I'm no goody two shoes but I know what I preach
    I've forgotten more about music than you could ever teach.



    Word life yo'!
    Last edited by Luke of Metal; 12-12-2009 at 04:45 AM.

  22. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illest1227 View Post
    They tryin to tell everyone these days that we at war
    Wit an enemy thatís just out on your front door
    Only a few people really know the score
    They the ones that adore the case for war
    Itís called war-profiteering you should know that by now
    Halliburton, **** Cheney, The Wicked Witch
    Stealin from the poor and givin to the rich
    They lies penetratin your brain through the TV screen
    Itís called Fox news *****, what else you seen?
    I stopped cariní
    Stopped scariní
    Stopped stariní into the sun
    Stopped *****iní about the need to own a gun
    They killed Sadat wit em for being a dirty traitor
    They killed King wit em for bein an innovator
    Just depends how you see it
    Through the eyes of the beholder
    But I guess if you put a gun in your hands that makes you bolder
    Quicker to shoot
    Quicker to loot
    Quicker to pull a blade on a ***** for bein a fruit loop
    Quicker to judge
    And slower to think
    Slower to take the time to let it sink
    Into your head that this threat donít exist
    Al-Qaeda, Bin Laden? Whoís the real terrorist?
    The answer is simple friend donít hesitate
    To hate the state that controls your very fate
    America, land of the free, home of the brave
    Did we forget to mention Guantanamo? Thatís the home of the slaves
    We liberatin Iraq
    Freein Afghanistan
    These countries were better off without the US hand
    All over the world
    All up in other peopleís ****
    Then they wonder why the planes flyin at the towers were such a direct hit

    so what u think? I just started makin rhymes up a few days ago so they might not be so good but this is the best I could do for such a short time (10 mins I wrote this in)

    any comments i'm thankful for
    its amazing

  23. #19
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    its real good

  24. #20
    Senior Member SK'nDeep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illest1227 View Post
    They tryin to tell everyone these days that we at war
    Wit an enemy that’s just out on your front door
    Only a few people really know the score
    They the ones that adore the case for war
    It’s called war-profiteering you should know that by now
    Halliburton, **** Cheney, The Wicked Witch
    Stealin from the poor and givin to the rich
    They lies penetratin your brain through the TV screen
    It’s called Fox news *****, what else you seen?
    I stopped carin’
    Stopped scarin’
    Stopped starin’ into the sun
    Stopped *****in’ about the need to own a gun
    They killed Sadat wit em for being a dirty traitor
    They killed King wit em for bein an innovator
    Just depends how you see it
    Through the eyes of the beholder
    But I guess if you put a gun in your hands that makes you bolder
    Quicker to shoot
    Quicker to loot
    Quicker to pull a blade on a ***** for bein a fruit loop
    Quicker to judge
    And slower to think
    Slower to take the time to let it sink
    Into your head that this threat don’t exist
    Al-Qaeda, Bin Laden? Who’s the real terrorist?
    The answer is simple friend don’t hesitate
    To hate the state that controls your very fate
    America, land of the free, home of the brave
    Did we forget to mention Guantanamo? That’s the home of the slaves
    We liberatin Iraq
    Freein Afghanistan
    These countries were better off without the US hand
    All over the world
    All up in other people’s ****
    Then they wonder why the planes flyin at the towers were such a direct hit

    so what u think? I just started makin rhymes up a few days ago so they might not be so good but this is the best I could do for such a short time (10 mins I wrote this in)

    any comments i'm thankful for
    yo. I have to say this just let me be frank.
    I liked how you switched up the style here and there. Your words flowed pretty good. Could be better. And as for Eminem. He in my book is the greatest rapper ever. You did not come close to Eminem as much as they said. No offense I personally think you have potential to do better. When it come to most of us we are labeled as Eminem clones. We try not to be. but the man has spit rap in every style possible. As for you, Not bad for 10 minutes but I would take more time on your rap before dropping it. Next time. (quality over quantity)

    and another thing. Why is everone rapping on this mans page. spamming him up....damn... don't we have our own threads to post our raps. take it to the battle thread if you want to drop em. or create your own thread. oh well it looks like they took over lol. what ever... Just rename this thread everybodys ****. lol


    hope this helps..
    Peace Love Empathy

    Sk'nDeep

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