Song i wrote in class today...

hows it now?? just fixed it, still not done...

I've tryed to hide!
INSIDE!! *<--screamed*
tryed to escape!
THIS LIFE! *<--screamed*
Tryed to be free--
OF THIS NIGHTMARE! *<--screamed*
but it wont leave me be!---


This chains me,--
CHAIN! *<--screamed*
It Pains me,--
PAIN *<--screamed*
wont let me breath!

its dominating,--
DOMINATING! *<--screamed*
over-rating,--
OVER-RATING! *<--screamed*
wont let me live!

*echo*
Try to forget this?
it will bind me tighter!

try to take this?
it will decimate my life!

it takes all my will,
just to take this torment!

just try to take it away!
*echo over*

This Pains me--!
F***ing PAIN! *<--screamed*
it Chains me!!
F***ing CHAINS! *<--screamed*
it tears at my Life!

My Life Is all but over----!

I like the echo effect between voices, that sounds rad in metal. Yeah it could use some work, but its full of good ideas and potential.
7/10

KEEP ROCKIN!

Gawain

thanks, by the way, i just updated it, look at the 1st post

i'll work on it then post up the results

short but sweet mate its cool :0)

thx, im almost done with ajustments to the lyrics...

yeah the adjustments are rad. I like the echo effect thingy. It could be made a b-i-t leangthier..... kinda short. Good job though

yea, i' work on the length soon, i like to write short lyrics so that i can fix that part then write part 2

Ok this spam is too rediculous, im trying to contact the lyrics forum moderator.

I mean the lyrics review mod sorry. I cant delete them here, only in community, music and prof ques.

Sorry Guys, I'm going to close this thread. It's getting slammed by an autospammer. Please feel free to start it again.

Thanks, Jetstew