My Newest Metal Song!!!!

Hello everyone, im Gawain, some of you might have read my past lyrics. Here is a song i wrote last night with my band. Please criticise it and rate it so i can improve it.

Trator in the night

The promise of peace, the bond is now broken,
Betrayed by the man in the solum robes,
The shadow of a dream, the memory torn,
Stained with the acid of somber words.

Fall softly on the ears of the innocent,
Did we die for religion or the government,
Greedy and lustful, they tell us judgment is due,
In the land of the east where the black stains the sands,
The black we erected,
Purposful pollution for some pocket cash,
I say we are all leaders of a nation heading for a burning flame,
No shame in guilt,
Concience seeks only vengance for your tratorous thoughts,

Your a trator in the night,
A trator in the night,
Can you smell the ash of the foundation stone?
A trator in the night,
Did Jesus die for your sin, and your sin alone?
A pawn pierced with fright,

Foul in mercy, And true to your name,
Macabre is hatred for those who you blame,
Dare you not hide for the slight bit of shame,
We are all pawns in your revolting game,
I SAY WE ALL ARE TO BLAME!


(faded words in the distance)
I see the puppet,
But where is the puppeteer?

Yea! i like the last verces most,
"Foul in mercy"
and
"i see the puppet"

lol ok? Well it didnt take me long to write anyway.

I really like that! it's really good! it's quite a deep song that appears to have undertones of politics, religion and war, which are some of the strongest ongoing issues! well done good lyrics, cleverly done!

well thanks, i have like 5 other songs around this forum if you wanna rate them 2. I like the criticism