Night of No Remorse

Thread: Night of No Remorse

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  1. Transit.letum's Avatar

    Transit.letum said:

    Post Night of No Remorse

    I'm done with your note,
    It ends, "P.S. I love you."
    Something you always wrote,
    But now we're through.
    And so I called 911,
    But they're taking their time.
    Cuz they didn't hear anyone,
    Just an open line.
    But I'll tell you what,
    I don't mind their pace.
    Cuz as I make this cut,
    I don't wanna have to race.

    This night's almost done,
    I'm having so much fun.
    I wish you could see me smile,
    Lord knows it's been a while.

    I know you can't hear me,
    But let's get our story straight.
    First you put on the CD,
    With lyrics so irate.
    You turned the volume down,
    To calm your nerves,
    As you slipped on your nightgown,
    It clung to your curves.
    Next you closed the drapes,
    And pulled down the shades.
    That way, no light escapes,
    And the world outside fades.

    This night's almost done,
    I'm having so much fun.
    I wish you could see me smile,
    Lord knows it's been a while.

    Then you head towards the bathroom,
    Turning out lights on the way.
    Sprayed on some of your perfume,
    What a display of cliche.
    There are candles to be lit,
    Around the tub and on the sink.
    It's time to commit,
    Time to finish your drink.
    So into the water you slip,
    And now your gown's skin-tight.
    The water's up to your lip,
    What a sad way to end the night.

    This night's almost done,
    I'm having so much fun.
    I wish you could see me smile,
    Lord knows it's been a while.

    You said when we wed,
    That you loved me to death.
    Well now you're almost dead,
    Just one last breath.
    The cops are almost here,
    I place the blade in your hand.
    But please don't fear,
    I've got this all planned.
    I'll be arriving back here,
    Commin home from my trip.
    They won't let me get near,
    I'll have to give them the slip.

    This night's almost done,
    I'm having so much fun.
    I wish you could see me smile,
    Lord knows it's been a while.

    They're bringing you out now,
    With a stretcher beneath you.
    I scream, "Oh God how?
    Please don't let this be true!"
    They say it was suicide,
    I say they are wrong.
    And as I cried,
    I knew all along.
    That you still loved me,
    Until the very end.
    But I can't guarantee,
    That I was ever your friend.

    This night's almost done,
    I'm having so much fun.
    I wish you could see me smile,
    Lord knows it's been a while.

    You said when we wed,
    That you loved me to death.
    Well now you're dead,
    Not one more breath.
    I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
    Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
    As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
    Someday you will be loved
     
  2. SOULstice's Avatar

    SOULstice said:

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    Wow, this is some dark ****. Edgar Allen Poe writing songs from the grave... The only thing is the ending again. just my opinion, but i'd like it with more irony, maybe
    "You said when we wed,
    That you loved me to death.
    And love me you did,
    Till I took your last breath"

    Or a simple fix would be to just add "left" to the last line
    Just my thoughts
    "And the music shall set you free..."
     
  3. SpudMunky's Avatar

    SpudMunky said:

    Default

    Hey there! I think that those lyrics are really good! Very powerfully written! I can't fault them! Expertly done! Very well done!
    Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?
     
  4. soosa said:

    Default

    I should say I personally don't like the couplettes, think its to though for me, but I really really liked the refrain. It fits good to the couplettes but still it's a lot softer. A break from the doomsaying Keep up the work, I definately want to see more.