Nino Ferrer - Le téléfon

Could someone please help me with a french/english translation of this song.

I worked on it a little already, but my french is not very good.
Could someone check it and help me out with the areas I have incorrect. Especially the chorus.

Thank you very much.

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Bernadette, elle est très chouette
Et sa cousine, elle est divine
Mais son cousin, il est malsain
Je dirais même que c'est un bon à rien

Bernadette, it is very grumpy
And her cousin, she divine
But her cousin, is unhealthy
I would even say that she good for nothing

Noémie est très jolie
Moins que Zoé, mais plus que Nathalie
Anatole il est frivole
Monsieur Gaston s'occupe du téléfon

Noémie is very pretty
Less than Zoé, but more than Nathalie
Anatole she is frivolous
Mr Gaston occupies himself on the telephone

Gaston y a l'téléfon qui son
Et y a jamais person qui y répond
Gaston y a l'téléfon qui son
Et y a jamais person qui y répond

Gaston has the telephone which is
Why a person never answers it
Gaston has the telephone which is
Why a person never answers it

Marie-Louise, elle est exquise
Marie-Thérèse, elle est obèse
Marie-Berthe, elle est experte
Par l'entremise de sa tante Artémise

Marie-Louise, it is exquisite
Marie-Thérèse, it is obese
Marie-Berthe, it is expert
Via his/her aunt Artémise

Edouard fume le cigare
Et Léonard porte une barbe noire
Léontine fait la cuisine
Monsieur Gaston s'occupe du téléfon

Edouard smokes the cigar
And Léonard wears a black beard
Léontine cooks the food
Mr Gaston occupies himself on the telephone

Gaston y a l'téléfon qui son
Et y a jamais person qui y répond
Gaston y a l'téléfon qui son
Et y a jamais person qui y répond

Gaston has the telephone which is
Why a person never answers it
Gaston has the telephone which is
Why a person never answers it

Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non,
Gaston l'téléfon qui son'
P't-être bien qu'c'est importon

Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non,
Gaston the telephone is yours
Perhaps - although it is important

Hi friends,

you really need an explaination about this song chorus.

Nino Ferrer made strange phonetical changes to make the words rhyming with Gaston in all sentences.

The original sentences (without changings) would be

Gaston, y'a l'téléphone qui sonne (Gaston, the phone is ringing)
mais y'a jamais personne qui répond (but no one ever hangs up)

... peut-être que c'est important (maybe it's important)

Did I help you?

Nico