:-) great!! Well done.. im watching my favourite tv soap 'eastenders' so my answers are a little slow
"I want to _bid_ you one kiss"
"But whenever we go out" here pote means never so the sentence is like .... but whenever we go out i never dare...
"Tell me what it is that you want sounds slightly better than tell me what I that you want and the second part of this sentence is like ... no way in English
Tell me what is on your mind, aaa and then it is like how we say ..'no need for that' in English
Tell me please, okay
Listen then what I am thinking when I am burning near you" these are ok
"concerned’ just two of us" - here 'concerning' would be gramatically better than 'concerned'
and everything else is wonderful so your face should be not