Need some constructive criticism on my song

2 Lines

Let's start with 2 lines
I said 2 lines do I have to say it another time
We have the people on the left
And the government on the right.
Now try not to start a fight.

(Chorus 1)
The worlds still turning always turning never stopping
And the people are still dieing but I don't hear anyone crying
But you don't care it's not your problem right?
If that’s what you’re thinking then I'll start a fight

Now back to our two lines, hold up now there’s six lines, ten, twenty
As the lines grow the government's money multiplies.
While our wallets are minimized.
Oh can't you see they've segregated our lines and put racism in our minds.
But we can't let them stop us now.
We've got to come together and stomp it down.

(Chorus 1)
The worlds still turning always turning never stopping
And the people are still dieing but I don't hear anyone crying
But you don't care it's not your problem right?
If that’s what you’re thinking then I'll start a fight

Hold up sit back down for a minute.
I'm not trying to start a rebellion right this minute.
I'm not even trying to get you angry in a minute.
I just want you to think about it for a minute.
The governments sending our people out to the desert.
There being slaughtered by the hundreds
And all the government does is eat their crumpets
And now it’s the end of the song but you still don't care
So you’re just going to end up being another pencil pusher sitting behind a desk
Doing what ever the government says when they snap their fingers.
Well I'm starting to learn I'll never change your mind.

(Chorus 2)
The people are dieing but it's not your problem right?
You don't care about your people.
It was never my problem you tell yourself
But when you retire to your old people’s home you'll find out what I already knew
It was always my problem.
From beginning to end.

I thought that was awesome, but I think it would sound really cool if the lines that aren't the chorus are spoken and the chorus sung. Good job man... person.. thing!

Dragon you original thread was generating "Off Topic" posts so i've moved it to a new thread so it can start fresh.

Dragon has asked for "constructive criticism" please