"I Can Feel It"

Thread: "I Can Feel It"

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  1. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

    Default "I Can Feel It"

    Hi guys and girls. I put this song together in about 10 minutes, and personally I don't think it's very good. Please, I want all comments, good and bad. I don't get offended easily by people saying my songs suck, cause, well, most of them do.
    Hahaha, well read the song, and give me some criticism, thanks.


    VERSE 1:
    Sometimes I go numb,
    With the thought of losing you.
    I felt so cold,
    I felt so tired,
    Then, in one instant,
    The feeling came back.

    CHORUS:
    I can feel it now,
    It feels so new.
    I can feel it now,
    I’m in love with you.

    VERSE 2:
    Here I lie with you,
    With this new found feeling,
    I feel so alive,
    Like never before,
    It’s like a shot to the head,
    A wake-up call.

    CHORUS x1

    BRIDGE:
    I can feel it now,
    You can feel it too.
    ‘Cause baby,
    I’m in love with you.
     
  2. atmaestro's Avatar

    atmaestro said:

    Default

    Not bad. I could easily see these lyrics in Brittney Spears or Hannah Montana pop song...
    I have a few suggestions for the first verse:

    Sometimes I go numb,
    Over thoughts of losing you.
    I feel so cold,
    I feel so tired,
    Then once again
    That feeling is back!

    However, the second verse needs some work to resolve verb tense shifts and some rough transition points.
    Them that can, do; them that can't... memorize Artist and Title
     
  3. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

    Default

    Haha, thanks. I like the way the first verse sounds with the way you changed it.
    I'm still working on the song, so I'll post the finished song once it's done.
    Any more criticism?
     
  4. Jean1singer said:

    Default

    It's pretty good... I like your other song "Promise" Better!