"I Promise"

Thread: "I Promise"

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  1. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

    Default "I Promise"

    Another song I put together, this one took about 5 minutes. Please give me some criticism. I want good and bad; if you think it's bad, just tell me.
    Thanks.



    VERSE 1:
    Promises made are debts unpaid,
    I’ll pay this debt my whole life through.
    I made the commitment, made the choice,
    It took me in and drove me out, now I’ve no where to run.

    CHORUS:
    I promise to love, promise to hold.
    I love you baby, I promise you that.
    I told you once, I told you twice,
    And baby, a promise I keep true.

    VERSE 2:
    Don’t make promises you can’t keep,
    They’ll come back around and tear you down.
    It’s hard to keep, it’s hard to live,
    But this promise is true, baby I love you.

    CHORUS x2
     
  2. Krent_Calstro777's Avatar

    Krent_Calstro777 said:

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    pretty good, I like it but you just missing a bridge, can't make a good one without it lol.
    Damning Reficul: Song is like singing from the light whilst the emotions can be so raw from the darkness.
     
  3. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

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    Mhhhhmmm I was thinking that too.
    I'll add one, then put it on here.
    Thanks.
     
  4. Jean1singer said:

    Post

    Quote Originally Posted by hart716 View Post
    CHORUS:
    I promise to love, promise to hold.
    I love you baby, I promise you that.
    I told you once, I told you twice,
    And baby, a promise I keep true.
    I loved the chorus ecspecially GREAT song!
     
  5. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

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    Thanks =D.
    I'm having trouble thinking of a good bridge to this song.
    Anyone have any suggestions?
     
  6. Jester's Avatar

    Jester said:

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    Song's don't always have to have bridges/middle 8s... Or if they do, they don't always have to have lyrics.
     
  7. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

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    I know, but the song is a little bit short, I was just looking at a bridge as a way to lengthen it.
     
  8. Tracy-Turnblad's Avatar

    Tracy-Turnblad said:

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    Great song, I can't beleive it took you 5 mins! I agree that it needs a bridge, i'll try write one, but it's quite hard when it's not your song cuz you don't know exactly what the writer is thinking of.
     
  9. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

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    Ahhh I don't wanna spill out to you like you are all shrinks.
    But I was writing this song for my girlfriend.
    She never thought I loved her because I cheated on her before, and now I promised I love her.

    So that's what I was thinking of if that helps.
     
  10. Tracy-Turnblad's Avatar

    Tracy-Turnblad said:

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    Bridge:
    Baby
    Don't you know that promise is a big word
    If you can't keep a promise I can't trust you
    how can I trust you
    I said baby
    Keeping a promise shows you love me
    How am I supposed to know you love me
    Do you love me?
    Do you love me love me love me love me
     
  11. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy-Turnblad View Post
    Bridge:
    Baby
    Don't you know that promise is a big word
    If you can't keep a promise I can't trust you
    how can I trust you
    I said baby
    Keeping a promise shows you love me
    How am I supposed to know you love me
    Do you love me?
    Do you love me love me love me love me
    I like this.
    Let's see what other responces I get and then I'll pick one.
    Thanks!
     
  12. Tracy-Turnblad's Avatar

    Tracy-Turnblad said:

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    Ok, know i now what it's about my bridge doesn't really work. How about this version,
    Baby
    I know now that promise is a big word
    I know that you don't think you can trust me
    But you can trust me
    I said baby
    How am I supposed to show I love you
    I'm making this promise that I love you
    Yeah I love you
    Yeah I love love you love you love you love you
     
  13. hart716's Avatar

    hart716 said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy-Turnblad View Post
    Ok, know i now what it's about my bridge doesn't really work. How about this version,
    Baby
    I know now that promise is a big word
    I know that you don't think you can trust me
    But you can trust me
    I said baby
    How am I supposed to show I love you
    I'm making this promise that I love you
    Yeah I love you
    Yeah I love love you love you love you love you
    I like this one. A lot.
    I'm gonna add this to the song.
    Thanks =DDDDDDD
     
  14. Jester's Avatar

    Jester said:

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    Quote Originally Posted by hart716 View Post
    I know, but the song is a little bit short, I was just looking at a bridge as a way to lengthen it.
    So... As I've already said - They don't always need lyrics

    Use music or something to fill it out.