First Lyrics. Please be honest. Comments are greatly appreciated!

so. i wrote this a little over an hour ago. i used to write songs when i was little, but you know....i was little. lol. and the lyrics nowhere compare to this one. that's my own opinion though. and i really want to know what YOU guys think of it.
to me, it reads/sounds like a taylor swift, pop/country type song.

what do you think:

untitled.

it's another heartbreak.
it's another tear fallin'.
it's another chance to say. you'll find another.
but you'll miss those simple days.
and those times he'd call you.
oh, just to say. how much he cared.

sometimes you have to let go.
and sometimes, it hurts so bad.
and sometimes you'll find it's the for the best.
and then things aren't so bad.
as they seem.

yea. ten months is a long time.
especially for this age.
but, girl just keep your head up.
and always keep your faith.

someone has a plan for you.
and things will be fine one day.
til then keep on smilin'.
and get back out on that stage.
and do what you always do.

the best is yet to come.
yea, in a few years you'll see.
that this time in your life.
the supposed "best years of your life"
are nowhere near now.
don't forget that plan for you.
and girl yea, one day soon.
you'll see what i'm talkin' about.(x2)

and the best is yet to come.(x2)
the best is yet to come.

i like these lyrics, i think they have a good message and well, im in a band at the moment and were really looking to promote internet material and lyrics with our music
i've had a look through some of the lyrics on here and your's kinda stood out to me,
so i was hoping you could get back to me on the subject of using your material in a song with my band, its nothing really that complicated, but it would be great if we could chat about it
thanks (:
xx

fluffykins...

Just write what you feel... if you have to use other people's lyrics in your songs all the time then your band isn't purveying your own true selves in the music.


Look out the window, write whatever you feel when you see things... Most of todays music has lyrics that are utter sh*t so whatever you write will be a good shade better than 50cent or Scooter or Arctic Monkeys or whoever's flavour of the month.

When writing a lyric there are a few rules that should be followed. Generally a lyric has a standard verse length that is present in each verse, be it 5 lines or how many. Also the sylable count needs to be taken into acount for each line. The closer this count is from verse to verse the easier it will be to write music for. A bridge is usually present in most modern songs, this is a summary or recap that is usually present after the last verse and beofre the last chorus. It helps if you identifiy what each part of your lyric is. If you would like more help on this im sure there are people here who can help you, or you could head over to songstuff.com which has a very active lyric forum

i write mostly my own music
ive literally got about a hundred sets of lyrics on my laptop, god knows how many more on scraps of paper :/ lol
but ive come here for inspiration, and to basically help others get out there, if you know what i mean
my band needs something different, and a kick to it, ive gotten kind of bored with the mindframe i work in, and its started getting difficult to not rewrite the same songs over and over, so this is just a change of scenery when it comes to style of lyrics

i do understand what you're saying though, it just doesnt apply in this (kind of odd ) situation if you know what i mean

Originally Posted by SamuelGabriel83

When writing a lyric there are a few rules that should be followed. Generally a lyric has a standard verse length that is present in each verse, be it 5 lines or how many. Also the sylable count needs to be taken into acount for each line. The closer this count is from verse to verse the easier it will be to write music for. A bridge is usually present in most modern songs, this is a summary or recap that is usually present after the last verse and beofre the last chorus. It helps if you identifiy what each part of your lyric is.

Apart from the bridge, your rulebook is slightly outdated.

Some of the bands I listen to use many words in one line or use monosylablic(?) words in place of two or three sylables or even two or three words if the situation calls for it.


The above quote give us rules for standard generic pop songs, not for true emotion, where your feelings and expression dictate your writing, not a textbook.

May I offer....?..... I'm not a pro, but I've had several years of professional training, piano and singing. And I love great music and great poetry And I've written some pretty decent poetry.

So, can I say that one should first learn the "science" or formal mechanics of something? And then allow personal creativity to enter?

This is my simple thought about word cadence: Poetry without sound is hugely dependent on syllabic count, but music can "flex" the words to the utmost. A vocal pause in a song lyric can add tremendous expression, complete the fullness of an emotion ... so maybe a line or simple thought calls for skipping the first 2-3-4 beats in an 8-beat count. But an expert might want to correct me or explain it better

I think Jester is so correct: Music is all about creativity, and it's very very personal, and it can be so simple. Sometimes the utter simplicity of a great song lyric can truly amaze me.

I think this is a beautiful example of simple song-lyric cadence ...
read to an 8-count, as I try to indicate:

Love ... ... is a burning thing ... ... ...
and it makes ... ... a fiery ring ... ... ...
Bound ... ... by wild desire ... ... ...
I fell into a ring of fire ... ... ... ...

The taste ... ... of love is sweet ... ... ...
when hearts ... ... like ours meet ... ... ...
I fell for you like a child ... ... ... ...
Oooooh [3 beats] but the fire went wild ... ...

(Johnny Cash, Ring of Fire, words by June Carter I think)

That song was written through pure inspiration, the inspiration of obsessive love.

By the way, I do think your lyrics have promise! If you can feel it, it will happen.

Originally Posted by jandros

I think Jester is so correct: Music is all about creativity, and it's very very personal, and it can be so simple. Sometimes the utter simplicity of a great song lyric can truly amaze me.

Over 26 years of creating music will do that to you.

well i would like to know what you think of my 2 lyrics posted further down the thread. I like the lyrics you certainly should persue lyric writting but for me the lyric is to unstructured to provide a good review without you having music for mye to listen to with this.

Do you get money for everytime you say "lyric"?