Modern Dracula

Hello everyone, this is my first post, so bear with me if i'm completely hopeless.

Basically i'm a young lyricist who just writes as a form of self expression. The people i have shown them to are often impressed by them, so i decided to take my lyrics onlne. I'm keen to hear what you all have to say about them.

The one that i'll post bellow is my most recent song, entitled Modern Dracula. Basically i was tired of writing about the cliche love or deppression (or commonly both) So, for some unknown reason i chose to write on the concept of Dracula. The song is fairly basic and from two points of view - Dracula's and his haters'

Anyway, i've jabbered on for long enough. Please leave your feedback.

TwistedTounge.

For such a neat little monster
i've made quite a mess
with echoes for eyes
and emptiness

for my heart for my soul
for the things i once had
is it astonishing to find
even angels go bad

though i cannot breathe
he has taken my breath
now living for ever
seems far worse than death

as i look at the world
through my tinted eyes
i can only hope others
repeat my demise

i lay warped and wounded, far beyond repair
when i look in the mirror i see no one there
the train track is twisted the buffers are broken
i'm not really alive, for i'm just a token

Knocking back bottles
of stella artois
come the broken token
of our modern dracula

He'll never escape
with these wings of cement
trapped forever here in this
place of torment

through hell or through joy
he will always be somber
he lacks a place a name a face
a haven even a genre

is he serving his time
is he taking his dose
are we grinding him down
till he's simple morose

he lays warped and wounded, far beyond repair
if he looks in the mirror he'll see no one there
the train track is twisted the buffers are broken
is he really alive, or is he just a token

i lay warped and wounded, far beyond repair
when i look in the mirror i see no one there
the train track is twisted the buffers are broken
i'm not really alive, for i'm just a token

Wow. awesome wordism again.