This I don't consider finished. It's work in progress, so comments and suggestions are most welcome. I don't particularly like the rhyme "return" - "turn", neither am I happy with the "final last straw". Maybe I'll leave the latter anyway, it's as stupid as "a little bit" - and less common. Also, I'm still not happy with the last line of the first verse "looks like the end of me". It's too pathetic.
no sense of direction
in a dark and stormy sea
the mist obscures my vision
looks like the end of me
so I'm lost
I don't know a way out
have I crossed
the point of no return?
will there be
a final last straw
just for me
so that I can turn
got stuck in a traffic jam
the turnoff should be near
if I'll manage to change the lane
I've got no idea
So I'm lost ...
the distances are shortened
the clocks on earth are slow
which is my destination
I might never know
Tags:
None
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lost
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Seems like you don't like a lot of the lyrics you yourself have written...
Maybe you should have re-written it before submitting it.
As it stands, verse 1 is good* Difference of opinion is not argument, only difference.
* Just because you don't like something, doesn't make it sh*t
* You are all individual, just like everyone else. -
Just to let you know. I've altered "lost" a bit, and now consider ist completed:
no sense of direction
in the dark and stormy sea
the mist obscures my vision
might mean the end of me
Looks like I'm lost
I don't know a way out
Have I crossed
the point of no return?
I don't feel
quite fit for a scout
any help
I wouldn't dare spurn
stuck in a traffic jam
the turnoff should be near
how I can change the lane
I've got no idea
Looks like I'm lost
I don't know a way out
Have I crossed
the point of no return?
I don't feel
quite fit for a scout
any help
I wouldn't dare spurn
the distances are shortened
the clocks on earth are slow
which is my destination
I might never know
Looks like I'm lost
I don't know a way out
Have I crossed
the point of no return?
I don't feel
quite fit for a scout
any help
I wouldn't dare spurn -
Nice! But brew...you should not let anyone else tell you how it should sound like...if you like it than that's great, if you don't then you should go sit down and figure out what you can change
