I think I'll Take Door Number Two

A velvet sky engulfed the night
A story of triumph and of plight
Foreign memories latched onto his mind
Writing words he could not find
But in the death of yours and mine
Define the boundary, Forget the line

An un plotted story unraveled
With twisting lines and a solemn narrator
Un appointed figures of speech induced disaster

Let's skip the first fifty pages and see what life holds
See that which the blind man would've never told
See that which none of us could know

Life comes, Life goes, Stories Never Grow old
And though they're plot may be altered from time to time
They do not collect dust, nor grow vines

Write me something I'll never forget
When all is lost and hope becomes regret
Write me something I'll never admit
I'll pretend you twisted my words, and that we never met

Write me something I'll never forget
When all is lost and hope becomes regret
Write me something I'll never admit
I'll pretend you twisted my words, and that we never met

Will you be there, Will you bear witness to my decline
Will yours be the hand that lets go of mine.....
(sound slowly fades, High pitched screams wail over a line of background static)
I THINK SO, I THOUGHT NOT, I THINK SO, I THOUGHT NOT
I THINK SO, I THOUGHT NOT, I THINK SO, I THOUGHT NOT
i think so.....

Bumping and letting u guys know that this is defenitily meant to be a song, not a poem.

hehe. i love it.it's got this "i put all my trust in you and you let it go for fun and i forgave you and you just kept doing it and i finally i couldn't handle it any more and let you go." feeling and at the same time it has this nostalgic feeling for what once was and this resentment for letting it die.

You have some really good lyrics in there like "Lets skip the first fifty pages and see what life holds." I like that.

But I'm a little lost when you go from the third person at the start of the song (foreign memories latched into his mind) to asking "will you be there" (second person) by the end. Are you talking to and about the same person? If you are, you can substitute your and you in the first verse for his and he.

Wastrel-
It's about a relationship, The first part is indeed talking about myself or the character, and the second person at the end being his lover. It's kind of about the ups and downs of the relationship, and at the worst point in his life, he wants to know where she stands, he's sort of asking if she'll always be there...or not. hope that helps