Lyricists-what are YOU'RE lyrics

No copywrighting allowed, this is a discussion for lyricists to discuss their lyrics and recieve feedback from fellow lyricists.

Should I start with a few lyrics of my own?

I once knew a girl
Pretty and fair
And she was treated
Like she wasn't there

Lingered in the shadows
All alone, unseen
Imagine what this
Girl could have been

(Chorus)
All is lost
And nothing is remembered
All her dreams
Vanished in thin air
Her highest hopes
Sunk below the ground
It's as if she isn't even there

She was headed
Down a dark dark road
I shoulda said something
But I just didn't know

She needed to speak out
But no-one was there
It's as if
Nobody even cared

(Chorus)

Now this girl
So pretty and fair
Isn't here
Her depression'd flared

And what is worst is that I see
Some of this girl, reflected in me

(Chorus out)

Nice heres one off mine. I'd put more lyrics into your song. Though I'm taking it's still in progress. Si?
_____________________
(intro)
You know I wouldn't lie,
You know I would try,
I wouldn't need fancy cars
because, girl, you're my everything...


As beautiful as the hair you swing around
It's like I've been fully blessed
For having such a girl like you come around
I love you baby when you run around
Feels as if theres nothing to worry
so speechless as you take my breath away
feels like we're in a delight world of our own
Be the queen of my heart
and never let go
Touch the heart and forever stay, though.
Stand under the mistletoe,
And let me take you through a night
that'll never be forgotten!..
I said a night that'll never be forgotten! no


(Whoa!) (chorus)
When our hearts combine it's like a world that shines!
Through the rough times you'll always be mine!
Thinking of you, non-stop and I know that things are all fine!
Singing to you when you're down, and rising a smile on your face
stroking your cheeks through the weak spots and I'm sure everything will be fine..

You know,
When I see you
it always lightens up my day
Holding hands tightly
resting your head on my shoulder
Life cannot be better
than having my girl next to me everyday..
Winter comes with snowflakes falling
breaking apart and here I come now
I'd run and fix you and always be ready to catch you
till i'm apart of you


Snowy mornings
Sun rising up
with the snow melting on the ground (mm..)
Oh, and I'm up and theres no trouble to see if you're okay
Door snowed in
looks like we'll be staying here for longer
Gunna make her something eat
while our relationship gets stronger
Watching her wake up with a smile on my face
Saying good morning baby how you feeling
Gets up and moves over to kiss her
with a script that I wrote
Saying I love you baby and You're what I desired


(Whoa!) (chorus)
When our hearts combine it's like a world that shines!
Through the rough times you'll always be mine!
Thinking of you, non-stop and I know that things are all fine!
Singing to you when you're down, and rising a smile on your face
stroking your cheeks through the weak spots and I'm sure everything will be fine..
Everything will be fine.


I've got the time to go where ever with you babe..
(Yeah)
We can climb the cliffs in summer looking at the view
Such an amazing sight thou I'm thinking of you
Another script almost about due..
My heart skips a beat that my love for you is deep
And it's a love story that isn't so cheap
That isn't so cheap
(Mm..)

You've moved to the next stage up
That there'll be no such thing as breakups
Laying on the beach with sunset coming
And you're ontop of me and there's nothing to compare
Curling the smoothnes hair of yours and kissing you fair
Rolling you on the sides touching your thighs and girl,
I'll always care!!
Always care!


(Whoa!) (chorus)
When our hearts combine it's like a world that shines!
Through the rough times you'll always be mine!
Thinking of you, non-stop and I know that things are all fine!
Singing to you when you're down, and rising a smile on your face
stroking your cheeks through the weak spots and I'm sure everything will be fine..
Everything will be fine.


(Mm..)
Talking to you on the phone now
Able to hear your soft cute voice on the phone now
Always sends a tingling feeling down my spine that I love now
Has always been hard saying goodbyes on the phone now..
Yet come home and see her running..
Putting a smile on her face as I walk through
Jumping on me like and I barely came through..
Hugging and kissing her as I see andrew
Out in the open I see dim skys blew
A thousand bits of the season flowers that grew
Drifting off back in the day but then I met you
I met you

(Whoa!) (chorus)
When our hearts combine it's like a world that shines!
Through the rough times you'll always be mine!
Thinking of you, non-stop and I know that things are all fine!
Singing to you when you're down, and rising a smile on your face
stroking your cheeks through the weak spots and I'm sure everything will be fine..
Everything will be fine.

(Whoa!) (chorus)
When our hearts combine it's like a world that shines!
Through the rough times you'll always be mine!
Thinking of you, non-stop and I know that things are all fine!
Singing to you when you're down, and rising a smile on your face
stroking your cheeks through the weak spots and I'm sure everything will be fine..
Everything will be fine.
Everything will be fine
If you just stay mine!

(..Mm..)
And I say everything will be fine aslong as you're by my side
And promise me you'll be with me when things collide
Talking amongs't the horizon where there lays our first kiss,
on the seaside.

Oh..

I like your lyrics, they seem to speak from the soul

Yep-definately still in progress...
I like to hear what other people write
You've got talent and there weren't really any problems with flow in your song. I've got a longer one I'd post that I've edited 6 or 7 times. When I find a copy I'll post it.. Good work Ryan

It's only a matter of time
before you look back and realize
that things have changed,
everything you liked, gone
and you are new
start again...
Pick up the pieces and start building back
the person you were actually comfortable with,
but I've found its much harder than it seems...

Each day is balled up, thrown out
we are all scratches on paper.
And each thought we have floats off
with no chance of being remembered...

(Chorus)
Something new needs to find its way into this endless circle, intersection.
Something new, just to catch my attention,
becuase I'm having trouble finding words for thoughts,
or maybe I haven't been thinking at all.
I'm moving the pen, but nothing comes out
or maybe theres nothing there to even write about.

These days keep rearranging, as times are always changing.
I just can't seem to get this out of my mind.
I try and write it down, but what would that do?
Written word will not impress you.
This is beginning to get old....

(Chorus)

Ink spills, covers all of our thoughts
with a blanket of emptiness,
blurring our eyes from this
second-hand charade of emotions tied into
the feeling that we'll all be headed towards long gone soon,
but its true.... But its true....

(Chorus)