if 9-ll happened two months earlier it would be 7-11
but does that make it funny, no it doesnt honey
so dont laugh when you shun me and im devoid as a dummy
cuz if my feelings had a face the nose would be runny
my heartbeart is controlled by the energizer bunny
boom boom, its funny, the weather outside is sunny
but inside theres a storm and the rain is flooding
drowning our flower as soon as it started budding
now ima take some time to tan in fake sunshine
and make some rhymes about how life is fine
so yeah, im blind, driving through stop signs
and when the cop finds and questions me i reply
"relax officer, im just enjoying the sunshine"
"no BS son, besides its raining outside
now please sign this ticket for fifty ninety-nine"
so i find five thousand and ninety-nine pennies, put em in a box
along with dirty socks and the dead carcass of a fox
and mail it to the postal office, with love, from austin
can you not see, girl, that i've has completely lost it?
i tell myself time and again that im better off
and that it was a good thing that i let her off
that i let her scoff at me and didnt do nothing
but somewhere deep inside me i know that im bluffing
my mind is unbalanced, but dont put me in asylum
i would probably find some insane people and hassle em
until one day one of them would step up and kill me
but then again your actions have already filled me
with so many artificial thoughts i might as well be dead
because you put my last sane intentions to bed
im fed crap and lies as the main course of my dishes
and im so numb to it all that it tastes delicious
im viciously peaceful and emotionally phony
eating one PB&J per day, getting quite bony
did i mention im lonely, its just me and my sony
just my walkman and my dog ive renamed watchman
ive padlocked my van, loking to reprimand the boogeyman
maybe me and him will get down and boogey, man
but damn, im also chock full of paranoia
what if he says ive been sent here to destroy ya?
then i would flashback to the times you and i had
and id be so drugged by you that i wouldn feel sad
tell me, did you intend to affect me so dramatically?
most of your final letters were incorrect gramatically
there was no question mark after the phrase "i love you"
and you never once told me about how i bugged you
you just ended it, boom, you just cut off the light
and every night after i felt i felt like ending my life
but i fought through until time numbed the wound
and the repulsive scars left my lovelife doomed
so im sitting in my room, its half past noon
im contemplating the location of my future tomb
next thing i knew it was half past two, truthfully im only half past you
all you ever were was a half-assed boo
so i walk out of my room, put on a new pair of shoes
wait, replace those shoes with a pair of snowboots
just to make the girls hoot, but its 80 degrees, shoot
then i gotta go back to my sister's room for some loot
i end up in the bathroom staring at my own face
my head seems in place, but i feel like a headcase
i need a neckbrace, yeah, thats the solution
or maybe my very imagination has a contusion
so much confusion, ive come to this disillusioned conclusion
you never existed, you never were real
like a four-course meal consisting of orange peels
like four square wheels made out of pure steel
it all seems surreal and this is how i feel for real
i would rather date an eel than you and your high heels
its no longer ideal that i appeal to your test
please excuse me while i fit this bulletproof vest
aroud the subwoofer hidden somewhere deep in my chest
i used to be stressed, depressed and a straightup mess
now im just possessed by my eternal unrest
nighttime at best is an insomnia fest
but i tell myself im blessed that im not under arrest
so i wake up, get dressed, spike my hair for some zest
only to realize i accidentally spiked the hair on my chest
what can i say, im a fallen soldier layin in the fray
and my comrades cant see me under fifty pounds of hay
every day, i tell myself im doing okay
and it might appear that i am, but no way, jose