Are these lyrics okay, and what should the title be?

Thread: Are these lyrics okay, and what should the title be?

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  1. ExtravagentUnion said:

    Default Are these lyrics okay, and what should the title be?

    Here they are... Tell me if I should extend, shorten, take out or re-do something.

    (Verse 1)
    The banner has burned,
    The light has fallen,
    The smoke has gone,
    And now you're calling

    The war is over,
    We've lost the fight,
    The blood has spilled,
    And I'll see you tonight

    Can you tell me,
    What I've seen?
    Can you help me,
    To try not to scream?

    (Chorus)
    What happened?
    Why can't you tell?
    Where did you go?
    Help me out of Hell!
    Life's not fair,
    It's sad but true,
    Life isn't fair,
    Without you..

    (Verse 2)
    My heart is bleeding,
    Shattered and broken,
    'Help me' I'm pleading!
    The last words are spoken

    Covered in ashes,
    Drenched with pain,
    Bearing the lashes,
    With nothing to gain,

    The city is burning,
    I cannot see,
    Please lift this burden,
    Hanging over me...

    (Chorus x 1)

    (Bridge)
    All the time,
    You were there for me
    Now you're gone,
    And I'm in agony!
    You were always,
    By my side
    Now your gone,
    And my heart has died!

    (Guitar Solo which has the same pattern as the chorus)

    The banner is burning,
    The light is falling,
    The smoke is rising,
    And you're not calling...

    (Chorus x 2)
     
  2. Paris13's Avatar

    Paris13 said:

    Default

    Don't take my dignity

    That is a really good title to me
     
  3. LyricsAngel's Avatar

    LyricsAngel said:

    Default

    The lyrics are great, no idea for title
     
  4. Ruderz's Avatar

    Ruderz said:

    Default

    'Fire of Passion'
    Hollywood Undead for life... <3!

    (8) And This Song is for You! (8) - This Song is for You, by me.
     
  5. SarahMostul said:

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    great lyrics!
    you could probably use a line from your song as a title like "out of hell"