SHE'LL NEVER SEE THE SUN AGAIN [METAL] please comment

I'd Love To Taste Your Blood,
Your Flesh Between My Teeth....
[ I Have This Inner Hunger That I Must Feed!!!! ]
I Can Smell Your Fear,
As It Pours Through And Seeps.....
[ Just Your Screams Aint Enough!!! I Want To Hear You Plead!!!!! ]
Eternal Life Ill Give!!! Just One Bite On The Neck!!!!!
But This Is Your Choice!!!
But This Is Your Choice !!!say Yes!!!!!
Darkness Will Decend!!! Upon Your Soul!!!!!!
Felt Like Piecies Were Missing!!!well Now You Will Become Whole!!!!!


But She'll Never Get To See The Sun Again.....
So Beautiful In Your Eyes,
But Now Swallowed By The Night......
And She'll Never Get To See The Sun Again.....
Still Beauty In Your Eyes,
It Glows From The Moonlight...
[ This Is The Eternal Bond!!!!! ]

And I Give To You My Love Unconditional.....
And This World Will Be Is Yours!!!!!
Youll Will Have All Control!!!!!
And I Promise You...
Ill Stay Right By Your Side....
Forever And Always!!!!
This Is The Eternal Bond!!!

The Bite Marks On Your Neck!!!
Its Never Look So Good!!!!!
This Is Our Destiny!!! I Always Knew We Would!!!!!
Will You Take My Hand!!! And Will You Make The Vow!!!!!
And This Worlds Recunstruction!!! Will Begin Now!!!!!

But She'll Never Get To See The Sun Again.......
So Beautiful In Your Eyes,
But Now Swallowed By The Night.....
And She'll Never Get To See The Sun Again......
Still Beauty In Your Eyes..
It Glows From The Moonlight...
[ This Is The Eternal Bond!!!!! ]

Skies Of Blackness Oceans Of Red....
The Souls Are Sreaming The Flowers Are Dead... [ This Is Our World!!!!! ]
So This Is What I Have To Offer
A Life Of Love With Brutal Slauaghters...
And The Birth Of An Evil Seed
With A Thirst And The Hunger To Feed [ This Little Girl!!!!! ]
You Have Your Mothers Eyes
All I Can See Is The Death Inside......you....

This is good ,but scary

I really like it, im guessing the [ ] parts are a metal style chorus or screaming? Not too into vampires but I think it would make a great metal song, its got the brutal aspect that all metal requires.