Emilie Autumn -- Dead Is The New Alive (English>French)

Hello (Bonjour) everyone! I decided to attempt to translate one of my favorite songs, Emilie Autumn's "Dead Is The New Alive" into French to challenge my French skills. This is my first attempt at a translation so I have a lot to learn but it came out better than I'd hoped. I had an especially hard time with "Life's only living rival" and I'm sure I've mangled it terribly. Any suggestions or corrections would be greatly appreciated.

Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle
Despair's the new survival / Le désespoir est la survie nouvelle
A pointless point of view / Un point de vue oiseux
Give in, give in, give in, give in / Renonce, renonce, renonce
You play the game / Tu joues le jeu
You'll never win/ Tu ne gagneras pas

Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle
Life's only living rival / Le seul rival vivant de la vie
A casket built for two / Une cassette bâti pour deux
Give in, give in, give in, give in / Renonce, renonce, renonce
You play the game / Tu joues le jeu
You'll never win/ Tu ne gagneras pas

So take me now or take me never / Prenez-moi maintenant ou ne prenez jamais
I won't wait / Je n'attendrai pas
You're already late / Tu es en retard déjà
So say goodbye or say forever / Dit-moi adieu ou dit-moi toujours
Choose your fate / Tu choisis ton destin
How else can we survive? / Comment autrement survivons-nous?
Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle

Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle
A gothic play revival / Une résurrection de la pièce de théâtre gothique
The last act of the show / Le pièce de résistance
Give in, give in, give in, give in / Renonce, renonce, renonce
You play the game / Tu joues le jeu
You'll never win/ Tu ne gagneras pas

So take me now or take me never / Prenez-moi maintenant ou ne prenez jamais
I won't wait / Je n'attendrai pas
You're already late / Tu es en retard déjà
So say goodbye or say forever / Dit-moi adieu ou dit-moi toujours
Choose your fate / Tu choisis ton destin
How else can we survive? / Comment autrement survivons-nous?
Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle

What is a day without a blessed night? / Quel est un jour sans une sacre nuit?
And what is peace without a blessed fight? / Et quelle est la paix sans une sacre bataille?
What is a day without a blessed night? / Et quel est un jour sans une sacre nuit?
And what is peace without a blessed, blessed, blessed fight? / Et quelle est la paix sans une sacre, sacre, sacre bataille?
A quick taste of the poison, a quick twist of the knife / Un goût petit du poison, un tord petit du couteau
When the obsession with death / Quand l'obsession avec la mort
The obsession with death becomes a way of life/ L'obsession avec la mort devient une manière de la vie
A quick taste of the poison, a quick twist of the knife / Un goût petit du poison, un tord petit du couteau
When the obsession with death / Quand la obsession avec la mort
The obsession with death becomes a way of life/ L'obsession avec la mort devient une manière de la vie

Hey
I'm not a native speaker myself, so none of this is bullet proof, but here's a few suggestions:

Dead is the new alive / La mort est la vie nouvelle

nouveau is one of the adjectives that go in front of the noun, like vieux, grand and petit. So that would be to change in the other lines, too.
On the other hand e.g. "blue is the new black" is a phrase used in fashion etc. So it should maybe rather be translated by Mort est le nouveau vivant.

Give in, give in, give in, give in / Renonce, renonce, renonce

renoncer means to give up something, to renounce. give in is hard to translate into french. Lâche prise! maybe, or abandonne!.

A casket built for two / Une cassette bâti pour deux

In the context of death, a casket is un cercueil. bâtir is mostly used for buildings (bâtiments), in this case I would simply use fait.

So take me now or take me never / Prenez-moi maintenant ou ne prenez jamais

As this is about a personal relationship, I think they would rather use the informal tu: Prends-moi maintenant ou ne prends-moi jamais!
prendre always have to have a direct object (=moi in this case).

You're already late / Tu es en retard déjà

Tu es déjà en retard. Sounds better.

So say goodbye or say forever / Dit-moi adieu ou dit-moi toujours

The imperative of dire is dis. And I would maybe add alors ou donc to translate so.

Choose your fate / Tu choisis ton destin

This has to be an imperative: Choisis ton destin!

How else can we survive? / Comment autrement survivons-nous?

Comment pouvons-nous survivre sinon?

The last act of the show / Le pièce de résistance

Don't know that expression, I would simply say: Le dernier acte du spectacle.

What is a day without a blessed night? / Quel est un jour sans une sacre nuit?

quel always means which. I would put it that way: Qu'est-ce que c'est qu'un jour sans nuit bénie?

And what is peace without a blessed fight? / Et quelle est la paix sans une sacre bataille?

Et qu'est-ce que c'est que la paix sans bataille bénie?

A quick taste of the poison, a quick twist of the knife / Un goût petit du poison, un tord petit du couteau

petit always stands in front of the noun. I've never heard the word tord in this context, I'd go for un coup.

The obsession with death becomes a way of life/ L'obsession avec la mort devient une manière de la vie

une manière de vivre

Hope that helps, I'm always open for correction of the above
luvya

Thanks! With 'quel(le)' I was thinking of its use as a translation for 'which' or 'what' in English, such as Quel est le problème (What's the problem?). But if it works better as qu'est-ce que, then that's great.

Le pièce de résistance is a French term that's been adopted into English -- its the highlight of the show, the big finish, the spectacular. I think that 'Une résurrection de la pièce de théâtre gothique' is way too clunky; I'm thinking of just translating it as 'Une résurrection de théâtre gothique' to streamline it a bit.

I used 'renonce' for 'give in' because I felt like that would get across some of the original meaning -- to give up 'the game' of life because the deck is stacked against you. Once again, if 'abandonne' works better, then I have no problem with that, just explaining why I chose it.

'A casket built for two' is clearly a play on the saying 'sweet on a bicycle built for two' -- Emilie Autumn warps this very romantic and innocent image and giving it a darker interpretation. I'm not sure if there is an equivalent expression in French that would give the same sort of dark mirror image as the original.

Originally Posted by Mipp

Thanks! With 'quel(le)' I was thinking of its use as a translation for 'which' or 'what' in English, such as Quel est le problème (What's the problem?). But if it works better as qu'est-ce que, then that's great.

Quel is used if you choose one out of several options. Qu'est-ce que is more general. The way you translated it doesn't make any sense. After quel you have to use a definite article: Quel est le jour sans nuit... which means Which of the given days is the one without a night. See the difference?

Le pièce de résistance is a French term that's been adopted into English -- its the highlight of the show, the big finish, the spectacular. I think that 'Une résurrection de la pièce de théâtre gothique' is way too clunky; I'm thinking of just translating it as 'Une résurrection de théâtre gothique' to streamline it a bit.

Never heard that term neither in English nor in French. The last act however is not the highlight of the show (that's usually in the third act). It's the end of the show, mostly the death of the hero.
You can very well shorten that other line. But it has to be une résurrection du théatre gothique, you need a definite article here.

I used 'renonce' for 'give in' because I felt like that would get across some of the original meaning -- to give up 'the game' of life because the deck is stacked against you. Once again, if 'abandonne' works better, then I have no problem with that, just explaining why I chose it.

But aren't to give in and to give up something different things? The first is a synonyme for to surrender I'd say, and the second one for to let go.
Example: "Haha, we outnumbered you!" "Ok, we give in!"
"I gave up smoking!"

'A casket built for two' is clearly a play on the saying 'sweet on a bicycle built for two' -- Emilie Autumn warps this very romantic and innocent image and giving it a darker interpretation. I'm not sure if there is an equivalent expression in French that would give the same sort of dark mirror image as the original.

Didn't know that saying in English, what does it mean exactly? Anyway, cassette is a little box, so that doesn't work.

Hope that explains how I meant things.
luvya