i'm just pretending!! (plsssss comentt!!!)

Heyyaaaa people!!!!! This is one of my new songs!!! It's depressing cos i was depressed at the time but im fine now!!! (:

I'm tired
Tired of putting on a fake smile
I'm just so tired
I'm still tired of pretending
Of pretending that i'm happy

'Cause baby I'm just sick of it
Sick of pretending everythings okay
'Cause it's not
It won't be
So this time I won't be smiling
I won't pretend

Don't ask why
Just let it go
I won't be smiling no more
And that's a fact
I won't be happy no more
'Cause baby it's all just pretend

'Cause baby I'm just sick of it
Sick of pretending everythings okay
'Cause it's not
It won't be
So this time I won't be smiling
I won't pretend

If I'm gonna smile
I want me to mean it
But at the moment i don't
So there's no point

'Cause baby I'm just sick of it
Sick of pretending everythings okay
'Cause it's not
It won't be
So this time I won't be smiling
I won't pretend

I'm just pretending...
I'm sorry...
But I won't anymore
Oh oh oh
No, no, no
I won't anymore

'Cause baby I'm just sick of it
Sick of pretending everythings okay
'Cause it's not
It won't be
So this time I won't be smiling
I won't pretend

Baby I'm sorry
But I'm done pretending
Sorry

Copyright Smileygal 2010

okay check it out smiley. good idea in your song. but you are repeating yourself thru the chorus and the versus. you say the same thing in each verse that you do in the chorus. structure your thoughts in there. take what you say in the chorus and explain yourself in the versus. give us some picture of whats going on. or tell more of a story with it. there are many different ways you could do this. whether you tell more of a story...explain why youre pretending..explain things more..tell us what you're gonna do or have done. any way you want to do it. its a good idea and the set up is there...but the verses are short and dont say much. i hope this helps smiley

thanxx. i'll try and use ur ideas!!