me! Me! ME! please tell me what you think, and be honest ;)

This is a song i just finished, please tell what wrong with it, and of cause also if theres anything great about it.

[Verse]
When I hear rain, my fire leaves
When I meet pain, it's misperceived

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

[Verse]
Some have tried, and some don't care
Square the circles, make them pairs

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus x2]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

[Short Solo]

One more day, and i'll be sober
Whatever floats my boat, it's over!

[Chorus]
Wouldn't wanna fake it
Even if I try
Keeping it elated
Even when I'm high

Don't wanna try
Don't wanna try
Don't wanna try!

Your solo is your verse?
Your verses both have the solo in?
I feel you have just thrown random words at eachother hoping for a reaction
It just didn't catch
I see no common emotion or theme.
It's just random and poorly structured.

the guy before me is pretty much on point i mean i dont see any depth really.. it sounds good if you say it outloud but.... do you even know what you were talking about?

Originally Posted by Kreative

the guy before me is pretty much on point i mean i dont see any depth really.. it sounds good if you say it outloud but.... do you even know what you were talking about?

Thanks buddy
(Y)

It's not that bad, but I can't see any feeling in it

you should edit it i mean you could still center it around a topic