Making music

Thread: Making music

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  1. Steve0's Avatar

    Steve0 said:

    Default Making music

    Me and Sue we're making music like never before
    When we heard the killing sound of a key in the door
    She looked at me, I looked at her.
    She said could be my husband I'm not really sure.

    Well, out of the bed I scrambled into my boots
    Jumped out the window in my birthday suit
    I never dreamed I could move so fast
    One step ahead of a shotgun blast.

    It was close encounter of the crazy kind
    I prayed the Lord don't let the full moon shine
    Tonight I'll be grateful if you save my life
    Good thing I have an understanding wife.

    When I got home the house was totally dark
    Til old Napoleon began to bark.
    The lights went on and the door flew open
    She stood there staring, I stood there hopin'
    She said she's heard a hundred stories from me
    There wasn't one that she had ever believed.
    I said but this time honey it's the honest truth
    I'm standing here as living proof.


    I had a close encounter of the crazy kind
    These little green men were trying to read my mind.
    Oh yeah, when they discovered I was thinking of you
    You won't believe what they decided to do
    Well, they took away every stitch of my clothes
    Painted little red circles from my head to my toes
    Sprayed something awful smelled like cheap perfume
    Then they left me on Earth and headed back to the Moon.

    She must have bought it 'cause she let me in
    I'm standing starkers with a foolish grin.
    She said wait here and left me there in the hall
    Between the guilt and the cold I sure felt small.

    When she came back she had a suitcase in her hand
    In the other was this tall blond Swedish looking man
    She said, look who I picked up while cruising the stars
    He said hello my name is Lars, I'm from the planet Mars.

    Close encounters of the crazy kind
    They seem to happen when the sun don't shine
    Oh Lord, my baby's leaving me 'cause she don't care
    I really can't say that it isn't fair
    Last edited by Steve0; 07-28-2010 at 05:55 PM.
  2. Sewn Up's Avatar

    Sewn Up said:

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    Pretty good effort. Reminds me of a cross between Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks and Animals by Nickelback. The first thing I would change is the title to "Close Encounters" because it seems to be the most repeated term in the set. Aside from that, I would consider adding another line in the last stanza, something along the lines of "I really can't say that it isn't fair" right before the last line. Good work!
    Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight? It appears quite black. Have you ever seen spiders crawling on the graves?
  3. Steve0's Avatar

    Steve0 said:

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    thank you