take me away - need help

Hey
This are my first lyrics
But I'm not a native english speaker, so it would be great if you could correct this and add some ideas if you have some


Take me Away

Verse 1
When I needed sunshine, I got rain
When I needed loving, I got pain
I thought I found someone, to hold my hand
But life keeps on turning,
my dreams into sand

Refrain
Take me away (Take me away)
Save me from this world of grey
Take me away (Take me away)
Be my sunshine when it rains
Take me away (Take me away)
Save me from this world of grey
Take me away (Take me away)
Hold me or I will go astray

Verse 2
When I needed day, I got night
When I needed peace, I got a fight
Oh I’m tired of this masquerade
But I can’t show my feelings, I’m too afraid

Refrain

Bridge
Hey, life could be so grand
If you would take me to your wonderland
Where life is easy and full of happiness
Cause right now, my world is just a mess
Will you take care of my heart?
Or will you tear it apart?
Will you help me through the night?
Please come and hold me tight

Refrain

Im thinking of what i can add to this...its really good! but it sounds to much like natasha bettingfield song take me away. ill get back to you on this

Originally Posted by Steve0

Im thinking of what i can add to this...its really good! but it sounds to much like natasha bettingfield song take me away. ill get back to you on this

Thx
I don't even know this song of natasha but its possible

So, what I wrote was correct?
Especially this part:

But life keeps on turning,
my dreams into sand

agree with steveo on this one but ill get back to u.....

and yes the "dreams to sand" part does sound good

get at my post and tell me wat ya think....im right below urs

The rhythm's really cool which is a bonus nowadays. The verses are my favorite parts. Good for your first song.

It's really good!

You could add this somewhere:

take me away
to a brighter day
I want to fly away
to where it's all okay
Take me away

Originally Posted by Tracy-Turnblad

It's really good!

You could add this somewhere:

take me away
to a brighter day
I want to fly away
to where it's all okay
Take me away

thanks
sounds great

i guess i will add this to the outro

i dont think i could add to it but that was really great.......