Haifa and Elissa

hi guys here is a little sketch that seems to be funny i d like the translation please=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_utDFFY9w

Lol they're just making fun of each other, at the start, the presenter introduces them, and Elissa wants to go first, and Haifa says of course, we should start with the eldest, and then they start ranting about who's older than the other.

The presenter says, can we not fight now? But when you do, please fight decently, you know pull hear, rip clothes (more than they're already ripped) and so on

Second part, Haifa says, I invented the art of singing, I refined it etc, and the presenter says, sorry but I've heard that the only reason you became popular is because of the way you act and the way you dress.

Elissa laughs, and he says, and the only reason you became famous is because you sang a duo with a famous singer.

Some bickering, and the presenter says lets take a break...

We go to the Iranian president, who says, 'yes of course I know them, they are both very important figures in my defence of nuclear weapons. Look, arabs are full of nuclear weapons (referring to the woman) why does the west want to restrict us?'

And now the presenter has been boxed up for playing the devils advocate, and the two are arguing

...which is strange, didnt Elissa vote Haifa to be the prettiest female singer? And didnt Haifa say she loves Elissa on air?

thank you so much!!it's funny=)
yes u're right Elissa and Haifa love each other so i don't know why the media keep on pretending they hate each other!is it so unbelievable they could appeciate one another??

maybe someone could translate line by line if its not asking too much of course=)

i love haifa
haifa is the best
but i like elissa she is good too
but haifa rocks !

please someone translate line by line