Secretly in love

A song I wrote about being in love with someone you cant get. Let me know what you think, any feedback and critisism is welcome

Im secretly in love with you
Why wont you turn your attention to me?
Because im so attentive to you

I want you to be fragile
So I can be your protector
To wrap my arms around you
And hold you close forever
Feeling your heart beat in my chest

Your blissfully unaware
Of how much you consume me
I want you to take notice
Please don't just look through me

Sea's of uncried tears
Buried deep inside me
Why can't I just let go
And cry and cry forever
Maybe I'll flood the world
And we'll float away together

I long to break your surface
And infultrate your walls
But I fail to make an impact
Do you notice me at all?

oomggg!! thiss is really good!!! touches the soul!! but mayb u shul add a chorus?? but otherwise really awesome!! <3
xoxo smiley

Originally Posted by smileygal

oomggg!! thiss is really good!!! touches the soul!! but mayb u shul add a chorus?? but otherwise really awesome!! <3
xoxo smiley

Thanks a lot, really appreciate the feedback. Yeah ill probably work on a chorus at some point to make it more like a structured song