I realize this is kinda short but I wanted to get some feedback on these lyrics. Thank you for reading. If it seems kinda choppy it's because it's set to an arrangement with an odd time signature. No title as of yet.

A shallow spot to lay my head
in a sea of empty promises

low

shaking every breath I take
a convoluted sense of shame

can't I shake this low

can't I fight this pain

can't I wake up now

will I live again

no

Hang my head another day
just a slave to my mistakes

low

but I got some things to do
guess I'll just be passing through