Shadow man (not finished)

Thread: Shadow man (not finished)

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  1. Carpe dium said:

    Default Shadow man (not finished)

    there was a shadow man
    a hollow man
    a man who wasn't quite a man

    a simple man
    without a care

    one who's life went by too quick

    and we all know where he's been
    Though he remains unseen
    until the sun comes up and we see our shadows instead
    he would tear down the sun to block the light
    so he only comes out at when the beg bugs start to bite

    Pre chorus:
    Hes watching you sleep
    and your breathing's making him eager
    turn out the lights
    to make his keeper leave him

    Chorus:
    the shadow man's coming out tonight
    searching for a way to bring the blight
    he waits unseen
    watching for a man who's soul is unclean
    the shadow man's feeling down tonight
    far to dark to see the light
    so watch your back, run away
    cos nothing stops the shadow MAN!!

    New verse yay:
    you wait for the dark
    you wont hear as much as a bark
    because the shadow man's voice is as soft as a whisper
    and as you start to walk away its all too late
    because the last thing you hear is you should've ran quicker

    And once he visits your home
    you'll be outside stumbling and cold
    and as you walk asleep haunted by dreams never seen
    the shadow man creeps ever closer
    walking behind you making your world colder
    and when the nightmare ends
    you open your eyes and pretend
    but the shadow man lurks around the corner
    waiting once more for your mind grow older

    Pre chorus:
    hes still watching you sleep
    but now your breath comes quicker
    you turn on the lights to be alone with your reaper
    little do you know the killer's staring back
    So savour these heartbeats
    Before they get stolen

    Chorus:
    the shadow man's coming out tonight
    searching for a way to bring the blight
    he waits unseen
    watching for a man who's soul is unclean

    [ (in the background) hes getting unruly]
    The shadow mans love doesnt come easy
    but once its there you're sure to know
    and if you think youd like to stop bleeding
    Then let him take what he wants
    because when eyes cant save you
    hes sleeping beside you
    Last edited by Carpe dium; 02-20-2012 at 11:05 PM. Reason: rest of the chorus up
     
  2. nork's Avatar

    nork said:

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    I like the concept of the song, but I think there's a bit to much rhyming in the first part. The last 2 verses are definately my favorite
     
  3. Carpe dium said:

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    yea sorry bout that when im starting a song out the rhyming helps get the rhythm thanks for the feedback
     
  4. Carpe dium said:

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    sweet i thin thats better
    Last edited by Carpe dium; 08-27-2010 at 11:49 PM. Reason: because it sounded hostile before
     
  5. nork's Avatar

    nork said:

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    good stuff, definately an improvement, feels quite freddy krueger-ish. Was that an influence by any chance?
     
  6. Carpe dium said:

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    lol not really the idea for this song came when this kid on a tv show told her parents "there was a shadow man mummy.... but he left"