Sen benden Giitin Gideli!! PLEASE TRANSLATE

[Montserrat]

i FOUND THE LYRICS OF THIS BEAUTIFULL SONG.. pLEASE CAN SOMEONE TRANSLATE??

Öyle ağırım ki kendime
Sen benden gittin gideli
Tenim küs olmuş tenime
Sen benden gittin gideli

Öyle bıkmışım ki kendimden
Kurudum düştüm dalımdan
Sanki ruhum çıktı canımdan

<a href="http://www.lyricsone.com">Song Lyrics</a>
Sen benden gittin gideli

Bir cefam var idi bin oldu
Aktı gözüm yaşı sel oldu
Yaz baharım döndü kış oldu
Sen benden gittin gideli

[aksios]

Originally Posted by Montserrat

i FOUND THE LYRICS OF THIS BEAUTIFULL SONG.. pLEASE CAN SOMEONE TRANSLATE??

Öyle ağırım ki kendime-i have been so heavy to myself
Sen benden gittin gideli-since you went from me
Tenim küs olmuş tenime-my skin has become offended(cross) to my skin
Sen benden gittin gideli

Öyle bıkmışım ki kendimden-i have been so much bored of myself
Kurudum düştüm dalımdan-that i dried and fell from my branch
Sanki ruhum çıktı canımdan-its like as if my soul has got out of my body(he says 'can' in fact can and ruh has the same meaning but they have another meaning as well, can is like you are alive, but ruh is soul, spirit. for example canlı: alive, so in a way can is related with life while ruh is only the abstrack thing inside the body)

<a href="http://www.lyricsone.com">Song Lyrics</a>
Sen benden gittin gideli

Bir cefam var idi bin oldu- i had a hardship(suffering, pain, trouble), it had become 1000
Aktı gözüm yaşı sel oldu-my tear of eye streamed, it has become flood
Yaz baharım döndü kış oldu-my summer, my spring has turned into winter
Sen benden gittin gideli

here you are dear!

[Montserrat]

Finally I know how he feels..

He doesn't show any pain to me.. he just tells me it's over and we have no future..

He's in so much pain..if I listen to the song now I understand.. What I will never undertand is if he loves me so much WHY he doesn't fight for me..

Thank you sweety..thank you so much for opening this world to me

Lots of kisses for you!!

Montse

[aksios]

you are very welcome.
let me tell you, turkish guys are really jealous. sometimes because of their pride they dont show anythin but act. there is action but no speech.. you go on, you fight for him, thats only way to make him speak with actions i guess... i am sorry for you . this song is full of love by the way, dont think he is over about the love,
best regards!

[NPazarka]

Words are hallow when there aren't any actions to back them up. At least, that's the way I see it. How can you fight for a person who's not willing to fight for you?

[aksios]

if a man has pride and cant show his feelings because of it, and if you know that he has still some things inside for you, like love, you must fight... this song is speaking eventhough he is not speaking about how he feels for her.
you dont lose anything if you fight , but what if he still wants you back and if you fight and you get him back, then you will get something, not lose

[NPazarka]

She said that she hurt him so I guess he's having difficulties or it's impossible for him to forgive her. Depends...

[Montserrat]

Here's the story..if you care to listen and take the time..because you are both right.

Before I met this big love, lets call him Memo, I was married to a man called Musafa.
I was married with this man who cheated on me. For two years I couldn't leave him although I knew he was seeing an other woman. We had children and I was depending on him in many ways. I thought he was not only my husband but allso my best friend... After two years I could't live with the deseat and I decided to leave him.
After two months I met this handsome man called Memo. He worked at a gouvernement office where I had to arrange my difforce papers. Memo had left his wife two months earlier. He left this marriage because he had never loved the woman. His mother arranged for him to marry her but they had nothing in common. So they decided to go their own way.

When I met Memo I still had a broken heart over my marriage and I thought he was really attractive but love didn't come quickly for me... I turned him down.

For 6 months he send me roses, poems and neckleses he made himselfe.. every week and I started to look forward to the flowers.

I am Catholic and he is Muslim. Online we used to talk almost every day. He convinced me that we could fight against our cultural and relegious differences. He was commited to make it work because for the first time in his life he felt real love. He even prommised me we would get married in my church. He was cray in love..drove through my street putting om songs.. trying to spot me..asking me to wafe at him when he was passing by.. We where like children.

My ex man realised he had lost me and tried to contact me. I met with him on one occassion and he tried to kiss me. I strongly gave nottice that he had to leave me alone. Because of the dramatic event of that day, and what it did to me emotionally I didn't tell Memo anyhing about this meeting with Musafa.

What I didn't know then, is that Memo put a tap on my phone, checked my emails through a hacker and contacted my ex husband. And my ex husband told him that we had a gathering with intimate contact!! I think he said this because he couldn't accept that I was seing someone new.

Then Memo started distrusting me... He didn't tell me he had spoken to Musafa and in his mind he gave me 4 months to confess my meeting... but I never did. In this time we went to Turkey on holliday. I met his family, his sister, brother and his mother. His sister was really enemostic towards me..but his mother accepted me and after he proposed marriage to me, she even bought us the wedding rings.

At that time we where staying at the house he had build one year earlier and where he had passed one summer with his wife and children. Staying at that house I took the ex wife's clothes out of the bedroom closed and put them in bags in another room. The last day of our hollidy in that house, his oldest sister appeared to help me clean the house.

This sister was like a mother to him because his father died when he was a little boy. His mother had to go out working and the oldest daughter of the familly took care of the little children.

While I was working in the living room she started in the bedroom... At one point I entered the bedroom and saw here putting all the clothes that I had put in baggs, back in the closed. I got really upset and we had a harsh argument that escalated to Memo sending his sister out of the house while she was calling me a really bad word. He stopped talking to her after that event.

Memo tried to comfort me and decided to built me another house where we could have our own frech start. So he started to work, after our holliday, as a possesed man. Working more then 100 hours each week. He was allso still waiting for me to confess that I had a meeting with ....which I never did.. He got overworked..and frustrated..and had to stop working because he got crazy that he couldn't be with me and marry me. He's wife didn't accept a difforce... Then..one day in a fight.. he said he had had enough.. This was the beginning of the end and I didn't understand what was going on.

That's now 15 months ago. He has ended the engagement one year ago, telling me that two cultures don't match.. But he still tries to contact me every week by leaving messages on the msn site.. and we have met about 6 times. Those meetings are full of love but allways end by him telling me that he doesn't want to give me hope because we have no future.

A really bitter fact for me is that his difforce came through three months ago.

I get really upset hearing him say that we have no future. Allso he still beleves the words of Musafa..telling him we where intimate when we met. And I can't confince him otherwise. He beleves him because I kept it all ( the meeting) in silence.

I stand alone in my fight for him. And I respect myself to much to let a relationship continue without marriage. I love him and want to marry him. But I can not let myselve get used so he can just pass a good time with me and then say: we have no future..

I love this man.. more then I have ever loved anyone before.. but..
he's to afraid to continue?? You tell me..because maybe you understand it better then me..being turkish and knowing your culture.


Thanks for listening Aksia and Pazarka. I wait for your opinion.

So now you see..you are both right.. Love is worth fighting for..but fighting on your own.. I don't know.
So... I wait..but don't show him..and then I see what music he puts on.. And as I don't speak turkish.. so...I need you're help

Kisses
Montse

[NPazarka]

There are no culturul nor religious differences between the two of you, cause he wanted to marry you in a church, that says enough.
He's kinda tricky this 'Memo'. He was testing your honesty and you failed, not a good way to start a relationship let alone a marriage. But what I don't understand is: if he was checking your e-mails or tapping your phone, he would have known that you're not doing anything wrong unless you said some things or wrote some things which gave him a reason to think you did.

aksios is right, there's nothing wrong with fighting for the love of your life. It's better to know you've done all you can than do nothing and regret it for the rest of your life.
But when there is no trust, there is no relationship for trust is one of the most important things within a relationship.

You have two choices: fight but only when you are 100% sure that you can earn his trust again or you can let him be cause he clearly doesn't know what he wants. Telling you there is no future for you two but contacting you every week? That's kinda sad. If I were you, I'd ignore him cause you have a pretty good reason to do so. If he's not willing to forgive you and keeps on telling you there's no future for you two, than there is no reason for him to contact you anymore and visa versa.

[aksios]

Well, i think NPazarka is right as well,
while telling you that you both cant have any future , he spends time with you in joy, that means he gives you hope, but his words dont seem so... so strange. maybe he acts with his heart while he is with you, but when he let his brain act, he says that you dont have future.
Yes, he tested you, and you failed. but that doesnt end everything. he must be old enough to understand love and if he knows how to love, he wouldnt let his the one go away, i think you must test him as well. you can tell him when he wants to meet you again, tell him that while you dont have any future, and while he doesnt want to give you hope, why should you meet, gatherind makes things worse for you. you can tell these. you can show him that, you agree with him . but i think you must open up your heart to him as well. be honest about your feelings. i mean tell him that you still love him or hoever tyou want, and even though you want so much to get him back, seeing him for a day outside doesnt make you happy, moreover these gatherings make you be hopeful about your(both) future. so better for you to not see him. ask him if you are right to do so. offf, sometimes its too hard to understand a proud man. why they act like they dont but they love madly in fact! just pride! i am so sorry for this complicated love! i understand you! i wish i could help!

[Montserrat]

Thanks for your opinions.

It's hard to let go.. The line: 'why do you contact me if we have no future??' has been said many times by me to Memo. He answers different things: I still want you.. I still love you.. We can be friends..I worry about you..I die without you..
The longer the time passes I can be strong to try to let him go, the more intens his requests to see me. And it's very hard to ignore someone you are in love with. I have gotten stronger in the months that have past by.

In the beginning I was strong enough for days..then for weeks..and now I have seen him last saturday after 3 months of fighting against my feelings.

Can you imagin this.. beeing alone everyday, every weekend..looking at the clock ticking every second..and STILL being strong enough not to contact him..and ignore his messages on msn..

God knows.. God knows that I fall a sleep crying several times a week..

Sometimes I think..if only there was a person a friend that knows the situation..someone he trusts and a person that knows me and what I stand for.. an angel to inlighten the situation.. But his family is not in the picture to help us and mine doesn't speak Turkish.

So..love doesn't win always.. I guess..

You have helped a great deal.. and it was very nice to be able to share my story with you. Make's me feel less alone in my sadness and struggle.

Keep an eye on the forum if you please.. I'm sure I'll be sending more songs..

And if you want to contact me personally you can do it

Tskrlr sweet girls
God bless you both
Montse

[Raisa-Miruna]

I've read your story Montse...kind of sad but ...the most important thing is that there is still love left.
Why don't you tell him what the girls said, if he looked in your messages and saw anything that might made you guilty? Ask him to be sincere and to tell you what bothered him actually besides the meeting.
And you still have the advantage, because he was a little guilty checking you...even if his reason was because he loved you...it's not somethig that you can do, just check private life of someone just like that. Maybe you can make him a little guilty with this.
Just communicating....is the best way.
I really wish that you solve your misunderstandings. After all, tell him: is it nice to spend the rest of his life without making a decision: risking to be with you or not having you at all?
Keep us informed...please...if something changes. I really wish you the best.

[Montserrat]

Hi Raisa

Thanks for your compassion. I'm sure you have a big heart.

Ofcourse I've tried several times to explain that I was appauled by he way Musafa approched me and made it very clear that I rejected him. The point is that he beleeves what Musafa told him instead of beleeving me! He beleeves I was intimate with Musafa while seeing him. For 4 months he continued his relationship with me, even asked me to marry him.

After the day he that he talked to Musafa on the phone about me, he kept it quiet for 4 moths. He got really obsessed if someone called me or sent me a tekst message. This situation escalated in him starting to work as an idiot..trying to get the money together to buy us a house.

After he waited for several months for me to come clean, which I didn't, he got a burn out. A few months later after him beeing obsessed about small things, even flowers which I had bought for myself, it all came out, the hole story about him talking to Musafa.. He confronted me..and I still dinied it..because I was afraid of his reaction. Not so smart of me..
I was so afraid his world would end..knowing how jalours he had become. NOT knowing it was because of my silence..

Weeks passed by of us getting upset and the discussing ended in one of us getting really upset..and leaving the house or place we where at that time.. Sometimes it would end in passionate... but afterwoulds the anger would come back. And all of this time I thought he would, eventually, see that I hadn't done anything wrong.

But he didn't.. So, one day in December of 2007 he came to me and told me we had no future together..that two cultures don't mix..and all kind of other excuses.

I have asked him to forgive me..and many times he told me: "Don't worry silly girl, I have forgiven you a long time ago" This was 6 months after I confessed I did have a meeting with my ex. But I always have stated real clearly that what he did was wrong! Going behind my back and calling my ex! And ofcourse..beleeving HIM over MY word!!

But now.. 1.5 years later, in wich I have seen him 4 times..the situation has calmed down..the discussions are not so explotional when I talk to him.. I have seen him 4 times and the last time was saterday. We went out for drinks in my home-town. All the electricity and passion that is always present with us, when we set eyes on each other, is still there, and I can say, even more. Talking to one another in a crouded bar, having to get close to each other, to overpower the loud music..he reaches an extra inch..to..exedentelly' touch my cheack... All the love and passion is still there.. You know what I mean don't you?

But at the end of the evening..after having to strongly 'fight' him off to not get intimate.. after driving me home..Saying goodbye is like dying..when he sais to me: "what's left of us Montse, what is this we have?? We are not married..we see each other just ones every so many months? ..what is this..?"

Again I left the car with a knife in my chest..and started to cry the whole night..untill today..almost two weeks later.

We have 'seen'each other on msn. We play cat and mouse..he watches me and I watch him. I don't go online when he is..and he comes online when I do..
He leaves me messages,like: Are you still alive.. I leave him messages like: Stop contacting me if you don't see a future.. And finally I got so angry last wednesday that I told him I never wanted to see him anymore.. His response was: "' You don't love me"

Sadnes and anger are fighting whith eachother in my body.. But in the morning the love, and feeling that my heart is ripped out, is stronger.

My neece, 15 years younger then I am had a simular situation and told her lover to stay out of her life untill he could make up his mind. She's so much stronger then me. But after all the pain I went through I have no energy left to meet him again. I cant anymore, you see? I must go on with my life..Knowing that I lost my love and soul..and I must continue.

Thanks for listening Raisa.
God bless you
Montse

[sanalfikret]

running away from conversation is not a sign of strength.. it's a sign of hopelessness, and desperation.

by the way, tl;dr

[Raisa-Miruna]

Not necessarily....And if you were in her shoes, you wouldn't say this after so many months of strength.

It's your right Montse to give up this whole story. People do this all the time, destroy what they have, but I'm surprised he's such a close-minded person. I guess that if he didn't take a decision or he didn't change his opinion about this until now, he won't do it ever. Or something great has to struck him to make him realise how short is life.
The fact is that...Going over this will probably leave in your heart a sour taste and an intense feeling of love for him, you may probably not meet again someone to make you feel like the way he did. But I also think that eventually you'll know what is best for you: keeping all this love and pain inside year after year, or cutting all contacts with him, still loving him but trying to have a chance for life with someone else, maybe love someone else-not so passionate, but calm and respectful..? Anyway all relationships end up here, at the point of respect and friendship, when the love and passion is consumed...
I know it hurts you really much to give up, but you and only you knows what is best. (To quote my boyfriend "What i can advice you is of course to continue your life and to not be desperate . You are very intelligent and you can recognise very easy what's better in your life just promise me to live that life in a good mood"....I think this also fits you, not only me, even if these words for me had a 10 times more painful meaning than for you...)
And you won't regret your decision, no matter what is that. I trust you. Just don't waste your life- try to accept it as it is, and if you can't, change something in it, find a new activity to keep your soul alive.
I guess that us women get more addicted to people than men...Maybe like smoking: you know that it's bad, it's destroying you, but you can stop it.
I'll ask God to keep an eye on you Kisses and hugs

[sanalfikret]

Addiction is a sign of desperation and weakness, too...

By the way, tl;fr

[NPazarka]

In such matters, you need to listen to your mind instead of your heart cause the heart always has its way to misguide you.

[Montserrat]

Yes..the heart has its way to misguide you..for sure.

Raisa.. I'm sorry to hear that you had sadness of love in your live to. And you say: 10 times more painfull meaning then me. I can not imagine that.. If you want to tell me your story please feel free, even to my personal mailbox if you want. Sometimes sharing sadness makes you feel a bit releeved.

There is a bit of news. Yesterday I spoke to Memo online.. I had been to a party and he was online when I came home. He wanted to come over to my house. I refused and said that I had met someone knew. Which is a big lie but it was an attempt to close the story. He got really upset and told me he really needed to come over to talk to me. I said that I was really frustrated that even when he didn't have ANY proof he guilted me of cheating on him. "I have my eyes.."he said. We talked for three hours and he got really passionate verbally.. I told him that I want trust, love and peace..and if he could't provide this he had to leave me alone. He continued expressing passionat language and finally I went ofline because it was clear he still didn't want a commitment. "I can't promiss you anything because my sister is dying and I need to take care of her right now" So... here it stayed.. With a little sparkle in the dark for..maybe.. I can confince him some day soon that I really didn't do anything wrong. I've wondered all day what he means by : "I have my eyes"

I will keep you posted
Thanks again sweet girls.
God bless you
Montse

[NPazarka]

Only a few people know what it's like not to have their heart broken, I guess.

Talk is cheap. Every man can tell you nice things, they're all experts but when it comes to proving it through their actions.. Well, that's another story...

[Aberine]

hey

I read your story, it sounds so sad and complicated, but if you love him why would you refuse to see him when he wishes to speak to you? And I think that it was not a good idea to tell him how you met someone new, when you know how jealous he is.

Based on personal experience, i think that Turkish men are sometimes complicated and difficult to understand ... but they are definitely so easy to fall in love with

Wish you best luck!

P.S. I am sorry... I forgot to say that checking on your private messages and spying on you seems absolutely intolerable and you have to make it clear to him that he did something TERRIBLE. Actually it seems like he broke the trust between you and not you and you could tell him this as well.

Also in my opinion, 'I have my eyes' means 'I can see better on my own, so i don't need you to explain or convince me' in other words, he believes what he has in his head and not what you are saying.

To me it seems like he hurt you more than your husband did. I am sorry for your suffering

[sanalfikret]

Ask sarabi icmesi hostur saskin
Sarap pesinden kosmak bostur saskin
Bir o yana bir bu yana yatma saskin
Tenhalarda menhalarda bitmis askin

Saskin sana ne dedim, sen ne yaptin
Dün gece gördüm seni ters yola saptin
Bir o yana bir bu yana yatma saskin
Tenhalarda menhalarda bitmiþ askin

Sana baska sözüm yok bu alem içinde
Bir alemsin saskin sen alem içinde
Bir o yana bir bu yana yatma saskin
Tenhalarda menhalarda bitmis askin

[Raisa-Miruna]

Ok sanalfikret and what were those lines supoosed to mean? We're talking seriously here, do you know the meaning of this word?

Well what I wanted to say with "10 times more painful to me" was that maybe for you advices and words from someone you don't know may not touch you in the way they touched me, his girlfriend, when I read what he wrote to me...The most importants words you want to hear are from the one you love, right...?and when they're not what you expected, it crushes you. But yes, you're right, I think you suffer more than me ...and it makes me really sad....


I know, it's kind of a relaxing thing to talk to other people and ask opinions, especially when you don't have many friends or when they don't have the time to listen to you. I'm a rather lonely person, I usually listen instead of talking about me.
What captured my attention from the beginning of your story was that he's turkish...And my boyfriends is also...So I thought : let's see how turkish men really think and act.
I found some common points, but I reached the conclusion that it's not necessarily for people from the same country to be the same. I was really determined to think that from the beginning, taking into account their education, religion, their way to treat women (in their country) but eventually Turkey is a more European country than many others, I would say than even my country. Just taking into account Istanbul life, it's more common to big european cities, than life in Bucharest, my town.
What impressed me was that he wanted to give up his religion. You don't see that so often at Muslims (just thinking about some of them, so fanatic and superior to us, the non-believers...what they're doing to spread their religion...), but I thought that even my boyfriend didn't seem to be so keen on his religion - except avoiding pork meat, I haven't heard anything from him or I haven't seen him doing something connected to his religion. Not even the prayers during the day. Not to mention that he has nothing against a little alcohol when going to clubs. And he's not young...It's just that generations tend to grow up more and more in an European style.
Still, from families, religious values are a strong route to a man's life.
Anyway my story is not so complicated. He went back in Turkey in a "mission" in the army...he didn't tell me details...I worry all the time, I don't know when he's coming back, I don't know what to do, what to think...I don't know when is he going to write me....keep waiting every day something from him...
And listening like a crazy to turkish music, which brought me on this website. I listen just like breathing air, and I cry at sad songs, sometimes they make me feel relaxed and into a deep peace, sometimes they make me revolted, sometimes they make me think about war...make me worried and wondering where is him, hoping somewhere safe, sometimes thinking that at the same time he's looking at the same star on the night sky which I'm looking at...
But he doesn't say anything- to wait for him or try to forget him....I mean he told me to continue my life but at the end he told me he loved me...I don't know what to think.

Anyway...I guess we both shall wait and see where destiny brings us..
And meanwhile try to live the other part of our life, try to enjoy a beautiful spring day, the gorgeous blue of the sea and the happy smiles on the kids faces in the park...Try to do something for us, lose some weight (when I'm sad I eat too much )), learn a new language...
What music do you like?