looking

I'm new to songwriting (I'm 15 and 3rd week of trying this) so please tell me if i'm doing something wrong and what i could improve. thx

theres a hole in my heart
a puzzle missing a piece
a race that never did start
and a pain that never did cease

theres a knife in my chest
a plant lacking light
a bird missing a nest
and a noose pulled tight

and im...
looking for more...
yet i still hit the floor...
and im...
lonley again...
it seems that i cant win
am i drowning alone
while looking for home?
are you looking for me?
are you looking for me?

theres a knife in my vest
a blade colder than ice
a tool meant for the chest
and its gonna be nice

and im...
looking for more...
yet i still hit the floor...
and im...
lonley again...
it seems that i cant win
am i drowning alone
while looking for home?
are you looking for me?
are you looking for me?

if you are, well then, i cant see

and im...
looking for more...
yet i still hit the floor...
and im...
lonley again...
it seems that i cant win
am i drowning alone
while looking for home?
are you looking for me?
are you looking for me?
are you looking for me?

(music)

cause in this end we'll see
were you looking for me. (yelled, like a statement, not a question then an abrupt stop)

Did you say you were 15?Wow,you very wise and talented for ANY age.I look forward to your future Song Lyrics,you are the future and a new Favorite of mine.You have you own style,and a very different ( fantastic,at that) way of expressing yourself.Keep up the great work,Ill be looking for it.

Philip: This is a great song. I FELT every bit of it. Not only did it hit my feelings, but it also has very good form, poetry, a sad kind of beauty.
Like Doug D., I cannot believe you are only 15 and can write like this; and I am astounded at the "easy" precision which seemed to flow out of you. You have the makings of a poet and/or songwriter. One of Doug's lines of wisdom is: ". . . A song DOES have to be good poetry . . . " You've accomplished this, IMHO.

When people read your poetry/lyrics and don't have constructive criticism for needed changes, or explaining holes in the meaning (or whatever), you've produced a fine piece of art. Oh, and did I say that "I like it!!" ?

Great job Philip seems like this song has very strong feelings behind it. I know friends of mine have gone through this same thing searching for answer to their problems but they never find it so the serach and want for death sinks in. This is very powerful song for a 15 year old to write I can't even imagine the pain that you or whom ever you wrote this song about had gone through. I love this website so many people inspire me to write I never want to stop.

I just messed my grammer up real bad on ^ but I don't feel like fixing it lol.

thank you , what you and Doug D. said made me smile