Search Results

Search took 0.00 seconds.

• Search Results

• I'm not a huge fan of line-to-line repetition...

  Thread: Dead Eyes (4 Replies, 2,896 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I'm not a huge fan of line-to-line repetition that's all.

• Add some to it! So far it's great.

  Thread: Rewind (13 Replies, 2,848 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Add some to it! So far it's great.

• Don't stop writing. Ever. And record this please.

  Thread: Greatest story never told (3 Replies, 2,419 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Don't stop writing. Ever. And record this please.

• I don't understand the first part. What do they...

  Thread: made a rap pretty crap but would like input( much needed !!!! ) (1 Replies, 1,727 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I don't understand the first part. What do they make you do? Instead of just repeating that as the chorus why not explain more what goes on in your personal life. You are right with your first line,...

• I didn't like "look into my Dead Eyes see...

  Thread: Dead Eyes (4 Replies, 2,896 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I didn't like "look into my Dead Eyes
  see what's going on inside
  look into my Dead Eyes, baby!
  Look into my Dead Eyes
  gaze into my Dead Eyes" until I read what you did with it at the end. Other...

• This is one of those lyrics that I really want to...

  Thread: Normal (3 Replies, 1,888 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  This is one of those lyrics that I really want to hear as a song just to see what it sounds like. I don't think me reading it off the internet does it as much justice as it may deserve as a finished...

• Tough to say. The lyric is likely better than I...

  Thread: Same old story (8 Replies, 3,510 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Tough to say. The lyric is likely better than I am saying, but like I said my mind created an unfair comparison. To give it it's own life if you will I would need to hear it actually as part of the...

• double posted

  Thread: This is a new song im working on - In Progress (1 Replies, 1,213 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  double posted

• This is a new song im working on - In Progress

  Thread: This is a new song im working on - In Progress (1 Replies, 1,213 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  [Intro]
  I have some strong feelings about this subject.
  It's a part of everyones life, and when it strikes you don't know what to do.
  Love. It's part of me, part of you. So what do I think when I...

• Beginning of a new song -- Untitled for now

  Thread: Beginning of a new song -- Untitled for now (0 Replies, 1,534 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  This is a new song I started about 10 minutes ago. Let me know what you think.
  
  [Intro]
  I have some strong feelings about this subject.
  It's a part of everyones life, and when it strikes you...

• I'm thinking of writing more with this style.

  Thread: No Time - Almost Finished - What do you think? (2 Replies, 1,907 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I'm thinking of writing more with this style.

• Poll: It's a little messed up for my taste but if you...

  Thread: The Illest Story (1 Replies, 1,190 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  It's a little messed up for my taste but if you work on some of the lyrics, specifically saying things like a 15 foot beard, it should be ok. In parts such as that I was a little lost as to why you...

• It's not real, and I understand it was meant to...

  Thread: good rap? 13 years old (1 Replies, 1,174 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  It's not real, and I understand it was meant to be inspirational but these kind of songs are only inspirational coming from somebody who has achieved the fame. Since you are both 13 and posting on a...

• Haha you're welcome.

  Thread: First friends now strangers. (4 Replies, 2,186 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Haha you're welcome.

• That was great. Keep up the good work.

  Thread: A Decade Since (3 Replies, 2,102 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  That was great. Keep up the good work.

• I love the chorus and the outro. Lyrically it was...

  Thread: First friends now strangers. (4 Replies, 2,186 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I love the chorus and the outro. Lyrically it was all good, but maybe you could add something to the verses to make it a bit longer.

• I read the first line and immediately thought of...

  Thread: Same old story (8 Replies, 3,510 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I read the first line and immediately thought of "When I'm gone" by Eminem. I think this created an unfair comparison in my mind. Maybe try to tweak the first line so it makes the same point with a...

• Expand it a little more and it would be great. I...

  Thread: Teardrops in a story (3 Replies, 2,067 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Expand it a little more and it would be great. I myself would tweak the chorus a little but but that's just my opinion.

• Stop Complaining - Another Work in Progress

  Thread: Stop Complaining - Another Work in Progress (0 Replies, 949 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Stop Complaining
  ________________
  
  I cant stand all the *****ing whining and complaining
  I feel like noone listens when I start explaining
  That they ain't got it bad, someones got it worse
  I'm...

• I really liked this one a lot more than the last...

  Thread: Little Dwelling of Hope (2 Replies, 1,235 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I really liked this one a lot more than the last one I commented on. Great job, I can see that you have a knack for this.

• Not saying it was but it still seemed forced. I...

  Thread: Wishes, Wishes, Wishes (5 Replies, 1,575 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Not saying it was but it still seemed forced. I will check them out. :) I understand it's hard to come up with something on the spot, it's great for just knocking it out in a few minutes.

• Great lyrics. I was really able to get into them.

  Thread: Signs (2 Replies, 1,482 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Great lyrics. I was really able to get into them.

• It just seemed like you tried too hard in the...

  Thread: Wishes, Wishes, Wishes (5 Replies, 1,575 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  It just seemed like you tried too hard in the rhymes and not enough in the general meaning of the song. In no way do I claim to be an expert or even good at rhyming myself, I have only written one...

• Lyrics didn't make much sense to me.

  Thread: Wishes, Wishes, Wishes (5 Replies, 1,575 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Lyrics didn't make much sense to me.

• No Time - Almost Finished - What do you think?

  Thread: No Time - Almost Finished - What do you think? (2 Replies, 1,907 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I didn't change it much from last time but let me know what you think.
  
  No Time
  -------
  [Intro]
  Just when you think you got your number one
  She gets up goes out the door and gone
  Noone to be...

• No Time - Revised Again - Respond

  Thread: No Time - Revised Again - Respond (0 Replies, 1,178 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  No Time
  -------
  [Intro]
  Just when you think you got your number one
  She gets up goes out the door and gone
  Noone to be with, provide for or sleep with
  I used to think love was real now I know...

• I'll do that and probably post another revised...

  Thread: No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think (9 Replies, 2,882 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I'll do that and probably post another revised copy tomorrow.

• It seems to me that it's going to be more putting...

  Thread: No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think (9 Replies, 2,882 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  It seems to me that it's going to be more putting it into an order that it makes sense, maybe moves in a timeline.

• I don't know. It's about what comes to me. I am...

  Thread: No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think (9 Replies, 2,882 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  I don't know. It's about what comes to me. I am writing about how I really feel about a relationship that ended a few weeks ago. I can probably combine some thoughts, and I'll add until I am finished...

• It's still a work in progress. I may remove some...

  Thread: No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think (9 Replies, 2,882 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  It's still a work in progress. I may remove some things and add others, just like posting at different steps in the writing and seeing what people think.

• No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think

  Thread: No Time - Revised - Let Me Know What You Think (9 Replies, 2,882 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  Here is a link to how it was when I started compared to now. http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/lyrics-review/99307-no-time-work-in-progress.html
  
  No Time
  -------
  [Intro]
  Just when you think you...

• No Time - Work in Progress

  Thread: No Time - Work in Progress (0 Replies, 1,575 Views) by Toasted Wonderbread

  
  

  No Time
  -------
  [Intro]
  Just when you think you got your number one
  She gets up goes out the door and gone
  Noone to be with, provide for or sleep with
  I used to think love was real now I know...