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vapid rappers.. - y'all are rapid laughers til...
Thread: Battle Rap: Freestyle Only (1,927 Replies, 6,219,904 Views) by Venomonology
vapid rappers.. - y'all are rapid laughers til you're challenged
end the frantic chatter and help set a valid standard
instead of acting like a brat who's just content to have the password
why not... -
yeah sure, I don't mind the order. I'll hit this...
Thread: Psycho Cypher (10 Replies, 28,888 Views) by Venomonology
yeah sure, I don't mind the order. I'll hit this up when I can. been really busy with work, plus I'm putting a gig on soon so got promo to do with that. I'm planning to get all my lines done over the...
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Psycho Cypher
Thread: Psycho Cypher (10 Replies, 28,888 Views) by Venomonology
Initially for me & Smooth to cypher collabs together. If it develops into something else then whatever.
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if you're 'broke', it's because I broke you
if...
Thread: Battle Rap: Freestyle Only (1,927 Replies, 6,219,904 Views) by Venomonology
if you're 'broke', it's because I broke you
if you 'choke', it's because I choked you
you just clench them fists in rage.. you won't ever throw, dude!
so true..- real talk: you said this was a... -
can't criticise the message / feeling behind the...
Thread: My lyrics (First Time) (1 Replies, 2,377 Views) by Venomonology
can't criticise the message / feeling behind the piece. it's not technically great though, if you want genuine criticism. you need to do a lot of work on your rhyming, I think if you work on learning...
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hmm.. I'm not dissing you or saying you're wack....
Thread: Transcend (23 Replies, 7,495 Views) by Venomonology
hmm.. I'm not dissing you or saying you're wack. I think you're being overly defensive here. I'm just giving advice.
to prove a point though, you still seem limited because in a few of those... -
I know you mean no offence, but I can guarantee...
Thread: Transcend (23 Replies, 7,495 Views) by Venomonology
I know you mean no offence, but I can guarantee nothing in smooth's verse is half-@ssed. especially the rhyming.
what you meant was that smooth is willing to use slant rhymes, assonance and... -
hmm... well, I'm aware you use multis. that...
Thread: Transcend (23 Replies, 7,495 Views) by Venomonology
hmm... well, I'm aware you use multis. that wasn't my point. I was trying to say that you could mix up 2 different schemes within lines instead of exhausting one scheme before moving on to another....
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Rickey, just one pointer if I may. Try rhyming...
Thread: Transcend (23 Replies, 7,495 Views) by Venomonology
Rickey, just one pointer if I may. Try rhyming more than one scheme. Notice how you are rhyming in a single way:
I choke a mic
And do it right like Dolemite
Control the hype
Control the fight... -
Your rhymes & ideas are too basic. Experiment...
Thread: Freestyle... (1 Replies, 2,502 Views) by Venomonology
Your rhymes & ideas are too basic. Experiment with different ways to say the same thing, metaphors, etc. As it is now, this is poor.
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Same as the other thread. You got a lot to learn....
Thread: no name, just quality lyrics (1 Replies, 2,233 Views) by Venomonology
Same as the other thread. You got a lot to learn. You showed more creativity here, which is good.. stick around & you'll learn a lot.
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On my phone so not gonna break it all down. In...
Thread: dope verse, give me some thoughts *no hook/chorus just rhymes (1 Replies, 2,458 Views) by Venomonology
On my phone so not gonna break it all down. In short, you got a lot to learn.
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folsom, you're false son.. stop gossiping
you...
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
folsom, you're false son.. stop gossiping
you "kept blunts in botany"; .. I kept blossoming
my propaganda falls? have a proper gander
your thoughts form in chronic languor
"rampid @ss clappers"?... -
you know if you hit me I'll hit 'straight back'.....
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
you know if you hit me I'll hit 'straight back'.. like chiropractice
my rhymes murder, your rhyme's mierda.. find the spanish
if your lyrics are "imprinted on a Raven's brain", I'll quell the... -
'desperate vindication'? that's some hella...
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
'desperate vindication'? that's some hella indignation
yeah.. 'Vincent Vega' illustrates your blood-rush instant nature
Chris needs irrigation.. - 'AdamAnt' he's Prince Charming of rap
come to... -
vapid rappers.. - y'all are rapid laughers til...
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
vapid rappers.. - y'all are rapid laughers til you're challenged
end the frantic chatter and help set a valid standard
instead of acting like an @sshole who's content to have the password
why not... -
Untitled 2.0
Thread: Untitled 2.0 (1 Replies, 2,794 Views) by Venomonology
I'll edit more onto this as & when I have time:
I keep my self in the centre of a maze, lock the puzzle box
when trouble knocks it's met with cellotape & a dozen locks
a couple knots to prop... -
I'm on the road at the moment, don't have much...
Thread: Transcend (6 Replies, 3,616 Views) by Venomonology
I'm on the road at the moment, don't have much time for writing. That's why I've been absent for a while. If I get some spare time & I think of something I'll drop a quick key about something.
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would like to see this expanded on. I'm sure you...
Thread: Untitled 16 (1 Replies, 2,149 Views) by Venomonology
would like to see this expanded on. I'm sure you could do a really good job on a full political piece.
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dope. just dope.
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
dope. just dope.
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keep it up man. you got some dope *** lines. you...
Thread: Transcend (6 Replies, 3,616 Views) by Venomonology
keep it up man. you got some dope *** lines. you know that.
write. edit. refine. -
rhyming was way too basic. you say you understand...
Thread: Im new too rapping (1 Replies, 2,222 Views) by Venomonology
rhyming was way too basic. you say you understand rap & how to do it, but I doubt that. you also say you only do gangster rap, but this wasn't gangster rap.
this was just a bunch of stupid... -
some nice ideas in here, I like your use of...
Thread: This is for my girl (2 Replies, 3,151 Views) by Venomonology
some nice ideas in here, I like your use of simile.. the piece would benefit from an internal scheme or a few more transitions though. only having the end rhymes in play makes it predictable, then it...
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people probably don't get it because you haven't...
Thread: Give me a subject (6 Replies, 2,698 Views) by Venomonology
people probably don't get it because you haven't incorporated the language or the words into metaphors or similes that mean anything when linked together.. like "homerun intentions" and "full bats on...
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what do you mean when you say "break down words...
Thread: Contemplation - First time writing a story (4 Replies, 2,368 Views) by Venomonology
what do you mean when you say "break down words into other words through other lines", you mean in terms of rhyming or disses? can you give an example here.
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nice to see you try something different, story...
Thread: Contemplation - First time writing a story (4 Replies, 2,368 Views) by Venomonology
nice to see you try something different, story was ok. nothing special, though.
I mean.. the main problem is that it's obviously not true. If you're going 1st person like "I did this" & "I did... -
just re-read this all again, still finding dope...
Thread: Stillborn Unicorn. (9 Replies, 5,965 Views) by Venomonology
just re-read this all again, still finding dope lines each time haha.
I'm the Formerly benevolent deity-
your Mausoleum's residents pray to me.
I.. Prey on gods and slay lost flocks
as... -
pretty good. you got some good ideas & concepts...
Thread: Give me a subject (6 Replies, 2,698 Views) by Venomonology
pretty good. you got some good ideas & concepts going on in your drops, I'd like to see you spend a bit more time over them though. I've only ever seen you rhyme single syllables at the end of lines,...
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moral luck
Thread: Give me a subject (6 Replies, 2,698 Views) by Venomonology
moral luck
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I'ma 'de-grade' him; watch as I beat him from 'A...
Thread: Venomology vs Quickill (8 Replies, 4,533 Views) by Venomonology
I'ma 'de-grade' him; watch as I beat him from 'A to B'..;
then 'blind side' him & leave him 'unmarked' like he 'failed to see'.
my foundations are deep .. you're a glass house on a sand dune
in... -
Sticky:
always useful to keep on top of current events....
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
always useful to keep on top of current events. read a lot. I try to read at least 1 book a month on history, philosophy, mythology, etc. just something so that I can keep my references fresh and...
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Sticky:
word. my mind is always telling me things flow...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
word. my mind is always telling me things flow fine... then I try to spit it... lol.
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Sticky:
sorry I ain't got at you in that battle thread, I...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
sorry I ain't got at you in that battle thread, I been so busy in work man. I know you had lessons and stuff too, but seriously that's nothing in comparison to the hours I've endured this week. I'll...
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all I got time for atm, been busy today...
...
Thread: Venomology vs Quickill (8 Replies, 4,533 Views) by Venomonology
all I got time for atm, been busy today...
here's the difference in how we brainstorm our battle raps:
you fake raw with bad attacks; I place straws on camel backs.
you break jaws of ragged... -
Tryst
Thread: Tryst (0 Replies, 1,769 Views) by Venomonology
Here are the first 8 lines of a verse for an audio track I recorded yesterday for a collab EP. The song is called 'Tryst' and is about the different attitudes and scenarios that can arise from one...
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Sticky:
lol, go set up a thread. no need to clog this up...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
lol, go set up a thread. no need to clog this up with your "fire drops". and you drop however many lines, no limit.
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lol @ "noble and magnanimous"
lol @...
Thread: Important Announcement- rap review moderating team. (5 Replies, 2,769 Views) by Venomonology
lol @ "noble and magnanimous"
lol @ "tyrannical dictatorsh.."
lol @ "I feel like Bill Clinton" -
Sticky:
disagree here, although that may be down to a...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
disagree here, although that may be down to a preferred style more than anything else.
if you're gonna go the full verse on the set-up I'd sure hope the diss was a lot worse than what was in... -
don't know what RickeyJoe was reading tbh, it was...
Thread: Stillborn Unicorn. (9 Replies, 5,965 Views) by Venomonology
don't know what RickeyJoe was reading tbh, it was packed full of loads of different kinds of rhymes and schemes. the first 2 lines has 2 schemes working, for example.
anyway, without stating the... -
delivery & flow is on point throughout. really...
Thread: Great to be back! (6 Replies, 2,906 Views) by Venomonology
delivery & flow is on point throughout. really annoyin with that damn beat advert goin in the background tho, miss quite a bit of what you guys are sayin cuz of that.
lyrics aren't amazingly dope... -
"Rip the Mirror" thread
Thread: "Rip the Mirror" thread (1 Replies, 2,015 Views) by Venomonology
same as other battle cypher threads except in here your disses are in the mirror. in other words, you diss yourself.
who can be the harshest self-reflector?? good way to excersize your creativity... -
@SBU
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I've ill rhymes 'fencing' with...
Thread: LETS KICK THIS OFF: *Freestyle Cypher Thread* (diss the man above you) (69 Replies, 193,207 Views) by Venomonology
@SBU
...
I've ill rhymes 'fencing' with abilities to flip styles
'parry & riposte' til I 'disengage to switch sides'
'right of way' excersized, activity's a bonus
I'll reign on this pitch... -
this was some dope lyricism smooth. the way I...
Thread: - (4 Replies, 6,491 Views) by Venomonology
this was some dope lyricism smooth. the way I read it lost flow a few times, but that's probably because of how I read it. can definitely see a natural cadence in there though. great message and some...
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yo smooth, just don't bite lines full stop man....
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
yo smooth, just don't bite lines full stop man. take pride in what you drop.
if you see other people biting report them, send them a PM telling them to stop or just don't reply to their verses.
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yo, what you think of the "checkmate" line as a...
Thread: Lucky Charms (9 Replies, 3,460 Views) by Venomonology
yo, what you think of the "checkmate" line as a replacement for "domestic frays"? I think it's an improvement, but feels a bit cheesy...
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As well as the African-American roots of the...
Thread: Rap Lyrics Review Restricted (18 Replies, 30,676 Views) by Venomonology
As well as the African-American roots of the music, one cannot forget that rap/hip-hop is primarily recognizable by the vocal rhythms produced by the lyrics. So, as well as having the background of...
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Sticky:
actually, that's what I do a lot when I first...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
actually, that's what I do a lot when I first hear a beat & I get some pretty damn good lines from it. for example, the 'lucky charms' song I posted here.. I started freestyling to the instrumental...
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Sticky:
I have a question for people who write with beats...
Thread: Discussion: Rap Writing Techniques (45 Replies, 52,943 Views) by Venomonology
I have a question for people who write with beats or instrumentals playing in the background, or maybe in your head.
Being a drummer I find that when I'm writing lyrics to beats the flow comes... -
tackpick's tactics are lacking craft skills.....
Thread: Come get slaughtered! (603 Replies, 316,121 Views) by Venomonology
tackpick's tactics are lacking craft skills..
"f*ck ending a punchline"..; a halfwit's transcript.
can't match these ad-lib's. I'm damn pedantic;
so stop the inconsistency.. - acting catholic. -
Yeah I'm a member of other sites which do that,...
Thread: Callin' out SBU, Smoothtung, and Venomonology. (7 Replies, 3,414 Views) by Venomonology
Yeah I'm a member of other sites which do that, but it's a 2 headed beast. In theory it seems like it would work, and for some members it does; but for a lot of other members having to keep linking...