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  • hmmm im not really sure if this hardcore enough...

    Thread: Another song (hardcore) (1 Replies, 1,449 Views) by atsuma


    hmmm im not really sure if this hardcore enough hahaha, no but i like it keep writing. if your are going for hardcore you need darker feelings more hate and anger in them maybe a touch on the morbid...

  • dude i till say this is by far your best work of...

    Thread: Thirst For Life (12 Replies, 2,489 Views) by atsuma


    dude i till say this is by far your best work of all time keep at it man snd i second what you said although we go through hard times we will always prevail.

  • make us human (by atsuma and ricky j. gammons)

    Thread: make us human (by atsuma and ricky j. gammons) (0 Replies, 1,012 Views) by atsuma


    verse1
    We are so empty nothing exists within our hollow husk
    Approached by those who think weíre nothing but dust
    just standing around with nothing better to do

    prechorus1
    But I can sense it,...

  • thanks man

    Thread: Every time i break (2 Replies, 1,522 Views) by atsuma


    thanks man

  • hello my name is atsuma I am the creater of a...

    Thread: Monster Within Me (1 Replies, 1,768 Views) by atsuma


    hello my name is atsuma I am the creater of a group called the metal heads, I noticed your message at the beginning don't ever be afraid to show your talents here, you will get help with things like...

  • Ok that makes sense actually thanks I understand...

    Thread: Snark Bite (3 Replies, 1,503 Views) by atsuma


    Ok that makes sense actually thanks I understand now, keep writing

  • Get the **** out

    Thread: Get the **** out (0 Replies, 1,134 Views) by atsuma


    I’ve only just begun
    I am undone
    No stop it
    Can’t shake it
    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    (Whispered)
    Get out, get out, get out of my head

    (Growled)

  • Nice lyrics love this part: If our leaders of...

    Thread: A Bastard In God's Clothing (1 Replies, 1,240 Views) by atsuma


    Nice lyrics
    love this part:
    If our leaders of Faith are the first to fall
    Then why are we ordered to kneel?
    Little boys, little toys, a tower too tall
    This is a wound that should never heal...
    ...

  • Every time i break

    Thread: Every time i break (2 Replies, 1,522 Views) by atsuma


    Intro/ (WHISPERED)
    Every day I wake
    Every road I take
    Every heart I break
    I just want you to know you’re nothing special

    VERSE/
    You’re nothing to me
    Offing yourself
    Crawling into a hole to...

  • just wondering are you going to put more, it...

    Thread: Snark Bite (3 Replies, 1,503 Views) by atsuma


    just wondering are you going to put more, it needs something else, its too short personally, you need more imagery its a start its not bad but not really good either. keep posting you can only get...

  • Lost

    Thread: Lost (0 Replies, 1,750 Views) by atsuma


    I'm about finished let me know what you think please thanks again

    VERSE 1/
    I was thinking about
    everything that we've been through
    I never thought I’d be so depressed
    I am wondering
    How...

  • I Want To Kill

    Thread: I Want To Kill (0 Replies, 2,066 Views) by atsuma


    Intro/
    {Whispered}
    1...2 **** you
    3...4 More Gore
    {Say it}
    5...6 Burning Stakes
    {Louder}
    7...8 Too late
    {Scream}
    9...10 wanna kill again

  • this is really good I really like this part ...

    Thread: The One I Never Had (8 Replies, 1,605 Views) by atsuma


    this is really good I really like this part

    "Staring up into the dark,
    Trying to fall back into sleep,
    To live another life,

    Ignoring my weak heart,
    Because it only makes me weep,
    Love is...

  • Fear

    Thread: Fear (0 Replies, 1,688 Views) by atsuma


    im doing a series of very harsh death like psycopathic screw you lyrics so if you don't like it then don't coment if you have suggestions or if you do like it then let me know and again thanx
    ...

  • Betrayed

    Thread: Betrayed (0 Replies, 1,102 Views) by atsuma


    im doing a series of very harsh death like psycopathic screw you lyrics so if you don't like it then don't coment if you have suggestions or if you do like it then let me know and again thanx
    THIS...

  • Your tongue turns black, I see the truth. I know...

    Thread: Tongue Black (3 Replies, 1,423 Views) by atsuma


    Your tongue turns black, I see the truth.
    I know the facts, but you still choose,
    To tell a tale, so they believe
    The lies you speak, to hide your feet.

    Great line and phrasing
    What kind of...

  • No answer

    Thread: No answer (1 Replies, 1,321 Views) by atsuma


    im done, I arranged a few things around, let me know what you think, and again thanks

    Verse 1/
    Behind these walls
    I've lived my life
    A life in loneliness
    Desolated in my own demise
    Memories...

  • Overrated

    Thread: Overrated (1 Replies, 1,535 Views) by atsuma


    As always let me know what you think Thanks :);)

    I don’t want a normal life
    it’s too damn overrated
    just another oversight
    don’t try to compromise
    I'll learn to love to hate it

    I knew it...

  • what kind of genre is this

    Thread: Headed For The Sun (2 Replies, 1,510 Views) by atsuma


    what kind of genre is this

  • panic

    Thread: panic (0 Replies, 2,572 Views) by atsuma


    It's always changing
    Its never ending
    It Wonít Stop
    Ready to explode
    The pressure buries me
    The poison takes control
    I drop down to my knees
    I scream
    Get these voices out of me
    I need help...

  • excellent this definitly has great imagery

    Thread: Death Sex and Poison Hearts (1 Replies, 1,387 Views) by atsuma


    excellent this definitly has great imagery

  • Found

    Thread: Found (0 Replies, 1,129 Views) by atsuma


    Iíve been hiding for so long
    Never understanding why
    I would fall to rise just to fall again
    Running far away from the truth
    And all along chasing after lies
    When I couldnít run any further
    You...

  • Burning and Breaking

    Thread: Burning and Breaking (1 Replies, 1,171 Views) by atsuma


    I payed a visit to your old house
    The windows were all boarded up
    Trying to hold these, memories
    There was no future in this house
    To never look to the past
    Thatís what you taught me to do...

  • Waiting

    Thread: Waiting (0 Replies, 1,112 Views) by atsuma


    VERSE ONE {I was waiting in a room of devastation
    I was waiting on the edge of oblivion
    And with hell raining down
    My head is crying "Save me now"}

    VERSE ONE A {I was waiting there, impossibly...

  • The Call

    Thread: The Call (1 Replies, 1,884 Views) by atsuma


    VERSE 1 {everyone crashes, breaks, and falls
    Some crash harder than others
    Youíve been broken
    Into a million different pieces

    PRE CHORUS {Many nights pass
    And days long as years
    Death release...

  • Temptation

    Thread: Temptation (0 Replies, 1,515 Views) by atsuma


    INTRO
    {As I become born anew
    The dawn breaks with passion
    The prayer trembles inside the sun}

    VERSE 1
    {I was aimlessly wondering within this repetition
    And just when I thought it ends its...

  • Hope

    Thread: Hope (0 Replies, 1,298 Views) by atsuma


    This is one of 2 songs that were written in memorial of a dear friend whom I lost 5 years ago today
    (Date of passing November 10, 2006)

    A door swings through a passing fable
    A fate we delay...

  • Will not fall

    Thread: Will not fall (0 Replies, 1,375 Views) by atsuma


    Will not fall
    Darkness starts to rise
    Leave the immoral and ruinous behind
    All is lost again
    But I'm not giving in
    I will not fall

    Now the dark is taking over
    Watch the end
    All is lost again

  • Love you more than you know

    Thread: Love you more than you know (1 Replies, 1,162 Views) by atsuma


    This is one of 2 songs that were written in memorial of a dear friend whom I lost 5 years ago today
    (Date of passing November 10, 2006)

    I was young and in love with you
    And without a trace
    I...

  • Voices of the past

    Thread: Voices of the past (2 Replies, 1,445 Views) by atsuma


    { INTRO HEAVY WHISPER}
    INTRO A/
    Voices of the past
    Screaming in my head
    A sword suspended
    Above my bed

    INTRO B/
    Insanity swarms me
    I try to scream

  • No Last Goodbye

    Thread: No Last Goodbye (1 Replies, 1,281 Views) by atsuma


    "Okay I'm done might tweak it a little more , but let me know what you think"

    INTRO
    (Whispered)
    Time to rise, Time to fall
    Time to fly, Time to crash

    [Scream]
    Rise up
    (Sustain low growl...

  • Sorrowful end

    Thread: Sorrowful end (1 Replies, 2,641 Views) by atsuma


    "Okay im done plz give feed back good or bad "


    My tears are drowning you
    I can't live with all this sorrow
    Mine alone for now and ever more
    (I'm all alone...)

    Iím found wanting for an end...

  • Since The Pain

    Thread: Blade of Lies (1 Replies, 2,742 Views) by atsuma


    IM finally finished took me a little bit but im finally done

    Intro
    I Close my eyes and i'll say goodbye
    Iíll free my soul by the blade
    Time to go itís over now

    Verse 1
    Because of you I...

  • conversing

    Thread: conversing (1 Replies, 2,753 Views) by atsuma


    I converse with an abase tongue
    Sibilated subtle hypocrisy
    Slither within and spit
    Verbal manipulation
    I am the one that takes you
    My illicit concubine
    persecute and incinerate you
    Intoxicant...